READ ME!

Hey there. DJay here. So this is not one of the most serious stories. You'll see an eclectic table of Chapters and stuff up there. Everything in the grey box is Fearblog of Fear, the story you clicked on. Follow the links one by one, starting with "Invocation," and you should be fine. Each Chapter is split up into multiple parts, but those have all been gathered onto one page, so. Yeah, you'll be fine.

Clicking on any of the links in the black box will take you to the sequel, These Violent Delights.

Opening Posts

1/8

Hey, my name is Billy Everyblogger, but you can just call me THE CRYPTIC KEEPER because badass nicknames are eyecatching and I want more readers. This is a Fearblog that will be about Slenderman but I'm calling it a Fearblog because it'll get me more attention. But of course, this is the opening section of the blog and here I have to keep a sense of realism so your immersion can be fine, so I am currently in college.

I am seventeen but in college because fuck you. I have a healthy dosage of cynicism, and I totally love that one webcomic named Homestuck. I do things ironically because hipsters are so cool, all my friends are hipsters and so I had to become one too. But I hate the mainstream things. I like to wear plaid, my hair is brown but I dye it green to look cool, I have blue eyes and little scratches across my face that I like to call "battle scars" but I really just got them by falling into bushes. I have several swords and stuff in my room, but I tell people I'm a bookworm because books are intellectual and get me attention. I love wearing sunglasses at all times.

I have three friends who come crash at my place at random intervals, and we get drunk because fuck da po-lice, lolololol.

I started this blog because blogs are cool and all my friends have blogs, and I'm probably not going to ever do anything with this blog ever, ignore the fact that you are reading a work of fiction and that the very existence of this blog is so that people can find out what happens to me as I am chased by Slenderman, but that comes later so I'm going to stick to skepticism.

Nobody is ever going to follow this blog.

2/8

Today I went to class and the teacher's gay so I just fell asleep and slept all day. On the way back home from class, I saw this guy standing in the street and he had no face because he was Slenderman but I'm still in my skeptical stages so HE IS NOT SLENDERMAN HAHA DON'T BE SILLY. I think he was stroking a girl's hair.

I got back to home and my friend was waiting for me. He said "Hi." I said "Hi." Then he said "I have something I want to show you" and I said "What?" So then he went into my closet and pulled out a giant book titled The Slenderman Notebook except it was a giant notebook and he opened the notebook and there were pictures of Slenderman drawn. "This is Slenderman," he said. "He is not real" I said. "But George kept this notebook." This made me gasp.

Also George was our friend but he died mysteriously, I forgot to mention.

So I spent the rest of the day going online and looking up the Slenderman. He can't be real, this is stupid, he's just an internet urban legend and in no way will this backfire and completely foreshadow what's going to happen.

3/8

Today I saw a guy wearing a Cockroach Jesus T-shirt and it reminded me of my favourite story ever titled Homestuck OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING. I'll talk about that story later, I'm only putting it in this post so that when I bring it up later you will be like "THIS IS GENIOUS." I went to the store today and there was a hot girl with huge tits who was totally checking me out. Short posts rule.

4/8

I took a picture of my street on the way to school today. Because I had a school project where I had to take a picture of my street on the way to school.

There's something odd about the picture, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

5/8

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN HACKED
MY NAME IS MASKY AND I WILL BE YOUR PROXY FOR TODAY
HERE IS A SERIES OF HELLOS CONVEYING THE 5/8 MOTIF
HELLO
hello
HELLO
hello
hello
HELLO
hello
hello
hello
HELLO
hello
hello
hello
hello
HELLO
hello
hello
hello
hello
hello
HELLO
HELLO
HELLO


I DO NOT KNOW IF I AM ON SLENDERMAN'S SIDE OR EVEN WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY BECAUSE THE PLOT HASN'T BEEN THOUGHT THROUGH THAT FAR YET
BUT THIS HACKED POST IS SUPPOSED TO THREATEN BILLY EVERYBLOGGER INTO DOING SOMETHING
IT IS EVIDENT THAT I HAVE ALL THE POWER RIGHT NOW BUT INSTEAD OF DOING ANYTHING WITH IT, I AM JUST GOING TO POST CRYPTIC COMMENTS ON EVERY ONE OF BILLY EVERYBLOGGER'S POSTS FROM NOW ON
HOO HOO HOO

6/8

Oh my god what the fuck oh my god, I totally didn't post that last post, oh my god what the fuck, someone hacked this blog oh my god what do they want with me? I'm so scared right now, oh my god, hacking is a really dangerous and threatening thing and I'm going to jump straight to the conclusion that the hacker wasn't some random person online and that they were actually trying to kill me through text. I am so scared.

What did that person want? This is all so confusing. And instead of being prompted into doing anything like, say, filing a report with the police or telling my friends, I'm just going to sit here and be scared for a few days.

7/8

Oh fuck oh shit he's commenting on my posts now oh god this is absolutely terrifying, this is the scariest thing that's ever happened to me, I know I'm an attention-whore but this is a scary kind of attention!

I told my parents today about this stalker who's commenting on my blog and they told me I was freaking out over nothing, my parents suck they are so horrible to me, they always treated me like this growing up and it made me dark and moody and a tortured genious and this is why I'm so popular.

They even told me that the giant doll that sat in my room when I slept was all in my head, why are they so mean. On some nights, I'd wake up in the middle of the night and the doll would be sitting on me and she'd put a finger over my lips and say "Shhhhhh, you are going to write a Fearblog." And then I'd fall asleep again. BUT NOBODY BELIEVES ME.

Sometimes I'd spend nights just crying and reading OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING and wishing that I could be like Jordan, that I could meet Salmacis and have a good life instead of this lame boring life that I hate.

Also today on the way to my Dressage Horse contest or whatever it is I do uh COLLEGE, on my way to college I saw a guy wearing a gas mask spraypainting tags on the walls. He left and I took a picture of the strange symbol he drew.

This is all so confusing.

8/8

fadsjgsdfhddfshjhgfdsafghjkwer0eutrofgdsjifajreyegfd blueberries and syrup
asdjfgggsiadmsaofgsdfjdfsjadsifshdiughifjdsagiosdvcjdsx

fsdfaghjfkglhjfhdsafjygghfdsafghjgfwefdvcjxuchuvfhugjhbifvksqxq0dje9ththijbndfivsjvqiwetweg
EF
ETHJ
TYHGFDSFGFGHGEYREGJDSFJA9JE9AHuhiudfigeugher8ufvdjsgrufdjrhdusci
penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis
fdsjfgjh9jr9egfdicsjfidcxf8djicdfijsijfgsijafdsijadfsjidfas
adfsjdfsjfdjsfdsj check out the tits on that one f9dsjghgfke3u8243u8535785296769403terfdfsd
fdasgsjh0jfa0fjagjasgfgsdghdgfgfdfdsacsdcdfff
the curse of klopman's diamond is fdjaisghjiewadfjsfdsjifejidfjdfjdfijdfjidfjidfjidfjidfjfd

hoo

hoo

hoo

it begins
..batman, that is
batman begins

CAN YOU FEEL LIFE MOVIN THROUGH YOUR MIND
OOOOOOH LOOKS LIKE IT CAME BACK FOR MORE YEAH
CAN YOU FEEL TIME SLIPPIN DOWN YOUR SPINE
OOOOOOH YOU TRY AND TRY TO IGNORE YEAH
BUT YOU CAN HARDLY SWALLOW cum
YOUR FEARS AND PAIN
WHEN YOU CAN'T HELP BUT FOLLOW
IT PUTS YOU RIGHT BACK WHERE YOU CAAAAME
weeeowwwwweeeow
LIVE AND LEARN
HANGING ON THE EDGE OF TOMORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
FROM THE WORKS OF YESTERDAY
LIVE AND LEARN
IF YOU BEG OR IF YOU BORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
YOU MAY NEVER FIND YOUR WAY
WHOAAAAAAOOOOHHHYEAH
CAN YOU FEEL LIFE TANGLE YOU UP INSIDE
YEAH NOW YOU'RE FACE DOWN ON THE FLOOR
OH
BUT YOU CAN TAME YOUR SORROW
YOU'VE PAID IN TRAAAAAAAAAAINS
WHEN YOU CAN'T HELP BUT FOLLOW
IT PUTS YOU RIGHT BACK WHERE YOU CITIZEN KANE
LIVE AND LEARN
HANGING ON THE EDGE OF TOMORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
FROM THE WORKS OF YESTERDAY
LIVE AND LEARN
IF YOU BEG OR IF YOU BORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
YOU MAY NEVER FIND YOUR WAY
RURRRRRRR
WHOA WHOA WHOA OH YEAAAAAH
JOHN PETRUCCI JUN SENOUE GUITAR SOLO
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
GUITAR SOLO
THERE'S A FACEs strange and secret SEARCHING FAR SO FAR AND WIDE
THERE'S A PLACE WHERE YOU DREAM YOU'D NEVER FIND
HOLD ON TO WHAT IF
HOLD ON TO WHAT IF
NEENURNEENURNEENURNEENUR
LIVE AND LEARN
HANGING ON THE EDGE OF TOMORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
FROM THE WORKS OF YESTERDAY
LIVE AND LEARN
IF YOU BEG OR IF YOU BORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
YOU MAY NEVER FIND YOUR WAYHEY
LIVE AND LEARN
HANGING ON THE EDGE OF TOMORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
FROM THE WORKS OF YESTERDAY
LIVE AND LEARN
IF YOU BEG ORRRRR IF YOU BORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
YOU MAY NEVER
FIND YOU
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYward son
LIVE AND LEARN
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
LIVE AND LEARN
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH


This blog has been hacked. This explains everything.

Runner Posts, Chapter 1

part one

The strangest thing happened: Slenderman actually appeared. I was driving to my girlfriend's house (because I forgot to mention I can drive and I have a girlfriend) and I happened to have my camera out on the dashboard when he appeared.

I swear to god it was him, and so I ran him over but then he ran after my car and I drove faster. Just when I thought I was gonna get away, I saw him hijack a car and drive after me and we had a car chase.

We drove through so many streets and we even drove through Downtown and the cops started chasing us so we helped each other escape (because even Slenderman agrees: Fuck da po-lice, seriously) and by the time we had gotten away, we were in Ohio (we were originally in California).

So around here, I noticed Slenderman was no longer chasing me and that I was alone. But then I heard a loud honk and saw (I expected to see Lord English or Gamzee, hahaha) a giant sixteen-wheeler truck with "KFC FREE CHICKEN" on the side headed right for my car and we were now in a one-lane road, so I dived out of the car and did a double-somersault into some bushes and it stung and behind me the truck smashed into my car and wrecked it, and as it drove by I looked in the passenger's seat and there was Slenderman but in the driver's seat there was a black dog!!!!!!!

Now I am on the run. I guess I'm a Runner, just like Morningstar or Alex (you know the one I mean). Luckily I had made sure to bring my badass Hibachi XK2L7 HeroHaruHorakajilapidos 8X5''' blades, complete with engraved indigo ivory holsters and thirty cup holders in the shape of tits. Because I knew I would go on the Run.

But now I am trying to figure out what the deal was with that dog that was with Slenderman. I mean, what is this, the Slender Scooby-Doo Show, hahaha! It's so gay?

part two

I've been walking a very long way. I'm already at the east coast, I'm at New Jersey. On the way, I met this guy calling himself Jack Oval. Or something. Sounds Russian.

So we walked along a bit and then this guy showed up wearing a mask, and I took a picture of him.

I knew immediately that this guy was going to kill me, so I shot him because I got a gun at the nearest town. And as he died, we had a conversation.

"The... destiny..... of the... forerunners..... is..... coming to.... fruition.... my friend..... and you might be wondering... a few things.... well let me tell you.... I can tell you.... everything.... or I can tell you.... nothing...... and that is my choice... so I will tell you.... everything..... because I just realized...... I am going to die..... and my wife will never know.... my name.... or my..... allegiance to... the... Tall Thin Prince of Darkness and Chaos......"

I said "Do you mean the Slenderman?" and he said "No... I... mean.... The Unnamed Child....." "What is the Unnamed Child" I said? "The.. Unnamed Child.. is this...... hive mind... of birds....... the Fear of Death........"

I suddenly realized exactly what he was talking about. There were one-hundred and twenty-two birds surrounding us, so I screamed and they flew away.

The man chuckled and coughed up blood. "You will... never...... be free........ ever again....." and I asked "What's your name?" "Hoo... hoo... hoo..... my name.. is Obama......."

Of course. That explains the notes I have been receiving for the past week saying "OBAMA IS COMING TO KILL YOU."

"Tell my wife..... that I..... love her......" So I put on some sunglasses and said "I imagine she knows that." And then Jack pressed Play on a nearby TV and CSI Miami came on and it was exactly at the intro.

Then he died and we moved on. Proxies are stupid, I hate them.

part three

Fuck this, I hate Running. I give up. I went home, and I'm going to go back to school and go back to living a normal life. I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore. This blog is over, and the fact that there are posts after this one is something you should just ignore. I'm saying the blog is over, and that makes all the difference.

part four

I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator.

I know I said the blog was over and that I was giving up but take a look at this:

THERE WAS A PROXY AT MY FRONT DOOR.


I HAD to leave. So I punched him in the face and ran out the door and the entire street was empty, too empty, so I ran to my friend Betsy's house and he told me "It has begun" so we both drove to a hotel and booked a room. Things were going well but then there was a knock at the door and there was Slenderman so I ran and hid in the refrigerator and here I am.

I don't think he's heard me typing, though I'm typing pretty loudly. Uh-oh, he just opened the door.

..he grabbed a can of beer and then closed it again. I'm so scared right now.

part five

That was the most amazing fight in the whole world. Betsy happened to be carrying a video camera so we got it on tape.




I think Slenderman's presence caused a bit of distortion though. Oh well, I think you can just about see it.

Anyway so after the fight, we ran out of the hotel and there was this gas mask guy spraypainting more strange symbols on the walls and as soon as Slenderman saw him he backed off so we stuck by the gas mask guy and he talked to us for a bit.

"Hello mortals, how are you gentlemen?" "Not bad other than we just fought the fucking goddamn shitting Slenderman, motherfucker." "I see, that's too bad because I had some answers to tell you about the Destiny of the forerunners." "You knew Obama?" "I knew all the Obamas. You see there was a long Egyptian ancient dynasty of pharaohs named Obama, the one you fought was the thirty-first." "You knew we fought him? How did you know?" "I know everything you do, Billy Everyblogger. I am The Archangle, and I am just a dream. You will wake up soon but I am speaking purely metaphorically of course. The allegory of this metaphor is too allegorical to relocate an alloy of theoretical fixation, and the anomalous materials have some xen that is too enigmatic for the phallic intrusion to ejaculate another section of subsequent loquaciousness." This guy was really smart, I couldn't understand his language because he was clearly eldritch. But wait. Eldritch.......? This gave me an idea, so I asked "Are you a Slenderman?" "Yes Billy, I am a Slenderman." Betsy said "There are multiple Slendermen?!!!!??!?" Archangle said "Yes Betsy, there are over twenty of us. The Unnamed Child is a Slenderman, the doll from your past is a Slenderman, even Slenderman is a Slenderman, I am a Slenderman too." "This is way too intense, but if there are all these Slendermen then what does that make us?" "You are not Slendermen, so you must die."

And then Betsy's face exploded and I had to go back on the Run but not before I took a picture of the mysterious symbols Archangle had drawn on the wall.

I have the feeling that these symbols are important.  Maybe if I take enough pictures of them, we can all figure out the meaning? It's like The DaVinci Code but instead of gay France there's like Slendermen and this is REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 2

part one

Hello I'm sorry this took me so long, I've been at school this past week on the run. Er......... past two weeks.

I was sitting in class one day when I looked out the window and there was this guy in sunglasses and a coat and he said to me "Come outisde" except I couldn't hear him because he was outside and I was in class, but I got his message telepathically because he is a Slenderman. So I went outside (my teacher is totally slack, he lets me get high all the time) and the Slenderman was waiting for me (not the Slenderman, this was one of the different Slendermen) and he said

"Hello my name is Blind Man, you killed my father prepare to die!" and pulled out a pistol. This was just like the fight in OH MY GOD RAPTURE BURNS so I turned into a minotaur and we had a big exciting duel.

He punched me with his gun and I neighed because I was a horse and I shot out a blast of energy and then Grey showed up and we had a battle with energy, but this was so cool because it was Grey and he is so cool, so we had the energy battle and the coolness went up through the roof and Blind Man stood where except his sunglasses reflected our battle like a simile.

The battle lasted two hours and we used a lot of energy, but when it was nearly over I punched Blind Man in the face and took his gun and shot Grey with it and then Grey nearly died and so he ran off.

Blind Man pulled out a book and said to me "You need more intelligcence in your diet" and so he swung the book at me and hit me over the head only it was Lord of the Rings so it was the biggest book ever and it knocked me out.

part two

"Wait up" he said.

"Hello" I said. "Where am I?"

"You are in the gathering of the murder face. I am Blind Man and I am a Slendemran. You have questions so ask them and I will think about anwering them."

"Where am I?"

"You are in the gathering of the murder face."

"This looks like a Wal Mart parking lot" but I didn't want to say this so I didn't. "What do you want with me?"

"You are the chosen one. You could even say you are............. Teh Zombie." And then I was a zombie. "But no really you are actually The Lamb."

"Is RAPTURE IS BURNING a real story?"

"No it is just the basis for greatness and you will comply or else you will lose your sanity."

"What do you want with me?"

"You will have to go through a series of very difficult hard and difficult tasks if you want to save your brother."

"OH NO MY BROTHER"

"Yes we have your brother, Billy Everyblogger. You have no chance to survive and you will realize soon taht you have no time left to play. We have to hurry or the legion of Obama will realize its full potential and all wil be lost to the great dark eternal night of Nyarlaatalatep or whatever his name is."

"I don't understand."

"You will soon." And then I woke up and I was on a highway. I was now alone. I had to hurry, I was on the Run again.

My next stop will be my brother's house in Alaska. It will be a long walk but I think I can make it in a few days unless I run into the Vessel.

part three

Hurry up and go home
Or the place will be gone
And your apple will fall
And you will land on your balls
So shut the blog down
And wear it like a crown
We will be here to drown
Every bit of wedding gown
WHY SO SERIOUS, BILLY EVERBLOGGER
DID YOU EVER ONCE THINK THIS WOULD BE A DOORSTOPPER
Because the adventure is barely only even beginging.

Brace yourself. Darkness is on the rise and there will come soft rain.
It infects this story just like all the others.
Taste it for yourself. The longer this goes on, the harder the crash will refrain.
They don't know, so I teach their brothers.

Come on down, Billy Everyblogger. It's about time you got introduced to my PLAN.

Chapter 3

part one

I am going through Canadada right now. It's so cold here like what the fuck, hasn't Canadaa ever heard of heaters, am I right?

I see a little boy over there. He looks gay. Don't look now, but I think he might be a Slenderman. I'm going to go talk to him.

Hello

"Hello"

My name is Billy Everyblogger

"My name is Cold Boy, I am a Slenderman"

It is nice to meet you Cold Boy, I am a Slenderman too (not really hehehehehehe).

"Oh cool what are you the Slenderman of, I am the Slenderman of isolation and cold!!!"

That is lame, I mean I am the Slenderman of blogging. I attack those who keep blogs. Which is why I am keeping a blog. I am also the Slenderman of fire and darkness and misery.

"Oh cool that is so original!!!!!! Let's be friends Billy."

So now I have a Slenderman friend.

part two

Hello this is Billy Everyblogger, hehehehehe bet you couldn't tell because I am now on a different account. Well guess what, I am officially a genius because I was walking along the highway with Cold Boy (I bet it's called a motorway over here in Candada but screw politics) when I saw freaking Jordan Dooling with a journal except his journal was a laptop. It was just like RAPTURE but with a laptop!!!

So I punched him and took the laptop and ran. And then I hacked onto this blog because I am actually a master hacker. Wow Jordan has a lot of porn on here.

lol what the fuck Jordan, nobody wants to see this kinky porn stuff. You're gross.

Anyway, I see a gas station up ahead (or is it a petrol station stupid Candada) so I'm gonna stop and buy some food. By which I mean steal it. Being a Runner kicks ass!!!

part three

Going to my brother's house today.

part four

I made it to my brother's house today!!! He has funny hair and I like to look at him, but today we found a shoe and there was a lot of explosions, but I don't quite know which country we're even in anymore. I think this is Alaska or something.

Cold Boy followed me into the house and we played cards until my brother showed up. He was wearing a blazer and a sunglasses and some other stuff like shoes. "Hello Billy" he said.

"Hello Guy" I said because his name is Guy Everyblogger.

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM" he shouted because he didnt' see us come in (because we are stealthy like that hehhehhehhehheh).

"Your mom's vaginaaaa"

And he just stared at meb ecuase he had nothing to say to this because it was true.

"So anyway we came because Blind Man said you were kidnapped, is this true?"

"This is true. I am currently kidnapped, you are talking to a proxy."

"WHAT"
"WHAT" Cold Boy said because also Cold Boy was here

"I am a proxy. The Slenderman came to me last night, his tentacles touched mea nd I could feel his presence nearby. So I went out into the backyard and wandered into the local forest, and there I could see these papers that I have brought with me here"

What does all this mean?

Oh yeah and then Guy died because Slenderman shot him.

Real Posts

1/5

Okay you know how I said Fears weren't real and then I posted saying they were and I was on the run for awhile? Well I was lying, this was all fictitional. BUT NOW THEY'RE REAL! THIS GUY WITH LIGHTNING HAIR AND SUNGLASSES CAME TO MY DOOR AND SAID "HELLO, MY NAME IS THE FEAR DELIVERER, I AM A NEW SLENDERMAN!"

HE PULLED OUT A GUN AND I BARELY HAD TIME TO SHUT THE DOOR!

HELP! WHAT DO I DO?!?!

2/5

Thank you guys in the comments for your advice! I'm going to open the door now (I've been camping here for two days) and we'll see how this goes.

HEY FEAR DELIVERERER!

"HEY KID HOW DO YOU LIKE MY GUN?"

IT'S PRETTY AWESOME DO YOU HAVE ANY BULLETS?

"I DO, IN FACT" NOW HE'S PULLING OUT A BOX OF BULLETS FROM HIS POCKET "I'M ABOUT TO LOAD AND SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE!"

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA BUT BY ANY CHANCE COULD YOU LEND ME SOME I'M A LITTLE LOW!

"OH YEAH SURE HERE YOU GO!"

Bitch, I just shot you in the face. With my own gun that I've had this whole time.

"YOU CRUEL NINJA!"

Blew smoke off of my pistol. Bitch, I'm no ninja. I am a MAN. No actually I am a PROXY.

"GASP, OF WHO?"

Another new Slenderman who you will meet in the next few days so BE READY!

He ran off screaming. I'm awesome.

Also I'm listening to "Stairway to Heaven" now, this is such a good song, guys. By the way if you're wondering where I'd been for the last several months before the last post, I overslept.

Now I'm going to go to school and see what's going on there. Because lol school SUCKS but I'm in a good mood now.

3/5

I'm at school now, it's a short walk from my house. Everyone here speaks American but me and my friends are the only ones with British accents because we're cool. Only one of us is actually from Britain though, his name is Peru. He's a badass though a little bit of a ritard. And yes I mean the musical thing, haha it was a pun.

I broke onto the school's computer network to post this, I'm a bit of a hacker in my spare time. There was this one time I hacked the principle's computer to say "I AM PRINCIPLE SKYNYRD" and then there was a link to the Wal-Mart Wikipedia page and then it said "1962 was a long time ago." And everyone laughed and I pushed it into the pool (our school has a pool). I didn't get into trouble though because this was on a day off.

So anyway how are you guys? Let me pull up a chair and sit in it backwards. Let's have a rap. Want a cigar, I'll give you the best. I'm master of this school here. So let's talk.

Wait, no time to talk! A bear just broke into the school! Brb, gotta deal with this.

4/5

That bear is now mounted above the cafeteria. I would have just mounted its head but haha what is this, the 1800s? Anyway I just found out our cafeteria ladies are Slendermen.

"Hello Billy Everyblogger, we are Slalmalcises. We are the Slenderman of you and your mirrors."

"lol that's cool, what's for lunch today?"

"Snakes."

"OH SHIT! Not if my GUNS can handle that!"

Then a police officer came in and put a hand on my shoulder and said "Guns are illegal, son." And I shook him off and said "You're not my dad!" But he said "No. I am."

So now I'm in jail.

5/5

Broke out of jail.

6/5 (lol)

They caught me and threw me back in jail.

7/5

Jail's getting boring. Very boring. Boooooring. Very boring. I don't like it.

Oh hello The Fear Deliverer, what are you doing in my cell smoking a cigarette?

"Hello Jonny." I'm Billy. "Whatever. Call me Death on Two Legs today, I'm pulling from contemporary mythology." I have no idea what that means. "I know you don't." Why are you smoking? "It's cool." Heh, I can't argue with that, FUCK DA PO-LISE "Billy, shut up for a second. Hit enter." What? "Just. Hit enter."
"No, I meant twice." Oh okay.

"There you go. Now, when you have something to say, press enter twice again and then say it." Why are-- oh, sorry.

Why are you talking about me writing this? "Now press enter twice again when I start saying something, then I'll answer your question." Fine.

"I'm talking about the meta elements, Billy." Wh

What are the meta elements?

"They're a higher dimension, one you don't seem ready to comprehend just yet despite the fact that you keep trying to reach for them." But "No, Billy. Enter."

Fine. Just fine. But you're starting to sound like a dick, you know. Telling me what I'm reaching for like you understand my intent.

He put out his fag, lol, now he's looking at me annoyedly. "Billy. Why the 'lol?'" Because I laughed out loud? "And what was even so funny? That you called my cigarette a 'fag?' Were you going for the fact that 'fag' is also a slur, or were you just laughing at your 'ironic' use of British slang?" Maybe. Um.

Maybe. I don't know.

"See, this is why I'm pontificating: Because you make your intent blatant. Don't you realize that? Can't you take a step back and look at what you're doing? At what you're writing?"

I.. I have no idea what you're fucking talking about! >_< This is real life!

"Why did you use an emoticon just now? Have you ever used emoticons in this blog before?"

I DON'T CARE IF I DID OR DIDN'T, THIS IS MY LIFE! I want to express myself!

"And that's fine. Everyone is entitled to a vehicle of expression."

Awkward silence.

I don't get it. I don't get anything anymore.

"That's precisely what I'm here for."

Well, whatever it is you're trying to eldritchly talk about, I don't understand and I don't want it! You're a Slenderman! Go away, let me rot in my fucking prison cell!

And now he's gone.

This is all so confusing.

8/5

They let me out of jail! HELLO, LIFE. GET READY FOR A FACE FULL OF BLOGGER. *sunglasses* Everyblogger.

So the first thing I did after bustin' out of jail was go to the library to look up porn on the library computers, that's the best thing to ever do. I'm also on Blogger, lol you guys are seeing the post of a guy who is masturbating.

But as I was looking through my favorite porn site, Slenderman's Slender Tentacle Penis XXX Tim Takes Viagra Pills Video Club, I found this weird advertisement.

I literally shouted "wtf" and ran out of the library.

Then I came back in to post this.

9/5

Runner Posts, Chapter 4

part one

I'm back. More posts are coming, a lot's happened since I was in Switzerland. I'll post later, I have to watch The Big Bang Theory.

part two

Okay I'm back, sorry a proxy hacked my account and changed my password to "balls," so I changed it back to "BreakingBad4Lyfe." So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I was telling my story of what happened! You see, I was in Switzerland in the CIA Base (Slenderman Division) when Officer Cromwell told me I had to bring back the vial of Azoth I left on my kitchen counter. Then my girlfriend rang me from Haos, California and told me I had three seconds to run out of the building before my next post came out, so I

part three

Okay sorry I'm back, I had to stop that post before I finished telling the story because otherwise the timelines would have split. Oh yeah, timelines, I'll explain that soon. Basically, I ran out of the building and Cormwell followed me out of the building and gave me the set of documents I was looking for and he told me that I am the One who can save this multiverse from imploding.

So my next destination was the Vatican, which luckily was just down the street, so I ran in busting the door down and shoved the documents into the Pope's hand (but not before I badassingly said "Fuck da Popo" and then security kicked me out for blasphemy and I had to break in through a window and give the Pope the documents like I said I did just now). He read the documents and looked at me and said "We're running out of time." So he drove me in his Popemobile and Officer Cornwell down to the Black Forest where in just in the nick of time we caught the Slenderman with his pants down! ...figuratively speaking, of course (can you tell that I've been taking a course in Literature?), he was actually about to string my girlfriend's intestines all over a tree like if Charles Manson was TPing a house on a macabre hornets Halloween. But luckily Officer Cornwall had brought a militia with him, so that's not a problem anymore.

PS: Did you catch the Shakespearean wordplay in this post? Thumbs up this post if you did.

part four

Hi I'm back.

part five

Back.

part six

Hey guys, sorry I didn't post yesterday, I had to change my password again because I had put it on this blog earlier. Now it's something different. And no it's not literally "something different," lol what do you take me for, a 13-year old?

Today I'm going to talk to you about the Great Game. It was founded by Victor Surge on the Something Awful forums way back in the Golden Age of blogging, my favourite age next to the Greatest Age back when the Slendermen knew what they were doing. Nowadays they're all "fancy gadgets" this and "killing us in our sleep" that, they have no honor anymore! But I regress. The Great Game, formed by Victor Surge, was an ARG about The Blindman, Slenderman of litigation (which some of you may know from their law firm, Slenderman & Blindman ["Frankly, you'd better call Saul!" I love those commercials]) in which the players were sued by a mad madwoman named Gatlin Burg and they had to pay out of their own actual money in order to battle her in court. It was a really great game, ba-dum tish. Fuckin' expensive, though. I got lucky, 'cause my parents are rich and I am hot.

There, today I told you about the Great Game. See the footnotes for more informatio.

part seven

Hi I'm back. I'll tell you about the Greater Game tomorrow.

part eight

hoo
hoo
hooooo

-Masky

part nine

Sorry I'm back, I had to change my password again because Masky hacked me. That last post was by him. I don't know how he found my old password, I mean I changed it to "somethingdifferent" how did he figure that out?!? Anyway we're good now, I changed it to the name of Charles Foster Kane's sled; he'll never figure that one out!

God, I hope he doesn't read this blog.

part ten

Back, how are you guys today?

part ten.5

MASKY HERE
I WATCHED CITIZEN KANE, BILLY
THANKS FOR THE REC THAT WAS A SURPRISINGLY GOOD TIME
I KNOW NOW THE SECRETS TO CINEMATOGRAPHY
AND SOON YOU WILL KNOW THE SECRETS
TO
DEATH
AND NO I DON'T MEAN THE SLENDERMAN OF PLAGUE
THE POINT IS YOU ARE GOING TO DIE
AT SOME POINT IN YOUR LIFE, YOU ARE GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
BUT IN THE MEANTIME, MAYBE WE CAN HANG OUT OR SOMETHING? I LEFT MY NUMBER IN THE DRAFTS FOR A NEW POST.
MAKE SURE YOU DON'T POST IT
OR ELSE I WILL TAKE IT AS AN ACT OF WAR.
WAR BEING THE SLENDERMAN OF GRIEF.
ANYWAY SEE YOU LATER BRO

seriously don't post this you fucking

123-456-7890

Chapter 5

part one

Oh my god no I'm so scared, what did he mean by that last post? How did he figure out my password? It was a classic riddle! Guys don't look now but I think I'm dealing with Albert Einstein. I don't know what that strange code was saved to my drafts, but it's the same number I have on my luggage, so did Masky know all along?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I'm going to go into hiding. brb

part electric boogatwo

YOU FORGOT SOMETHING, BILLY EVERYBLOGGER
YOU FORGOT TO CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD
SO NOW EVEN THOUGH I HAVE THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO DELETE THE OFFENSIVE POST YOU DID OF POSTING MY PHONE NUMBER ON THE INTERNET IN A BLOG NO ONE WILL READ EVEN THOUGH I'M THE ONE WHO PUT IT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN I'VE SHOWN THAT I HAVE ALL THE MEANS TO LEAVE YOU MESSAGES THROUGH LESS POTENTIALLY INCRIMINATING MEANS, I'M GOING TO LEAVE IT UPPPP
AND THEN I AM GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE
AND WE ARE GOING TO WATCH YOUR DEATH.
ON PAY-PER-VIEW.
ALSO CAN I BORROW FIVE DOLLARS?

part three

Hi I'm back from school.

part four

Oh fuck I'm supposed to be in hiding, I was never here!

part five

Masky came to my house today. I hid behind a mailbox and when he entered the front door I followed him with a gun. I heard him shout "WHERE ARE YOU, BILLY?" as he dumped gasoline over my floor. But I still kept hiding, this time in the kitchen. He knocked on the ceiling and shouted "ALL OF THIS WAS YOUR FAULT! EVERYONE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU!" And then I realized what he was doing: He was trying to break a hole in the timeline! So I tackled him and punched him in the tooth and he just laughed. He said to me, in his dying voice, "My name is Ozymandias Everyblogger. You were my brother... in an alternate timeline." I said to him "Why are you telling me this? You know what the Rick Proclamation of 1872 dictated, don't you" And he said "No, I don't. Could you tell me?" So I put on my bravest face and told him.

He was terrified afterwards. He wouldn't talk to me for days. But after some goading and torture (waterboarding lol) I was able to get him to tell me what his real name was. He said "it was Jared Obama."

"Gasp! You were part of the Obamancipation?"

"Yes, I was part. You were too, were you not?"

"....." I said nothing. I was too scared of the implications.

"You and I have some Core Theory to discuss, don't you, Billy Everyblogger?"

"How about you and I have some YOUR DEATH to discuss!" So I shot him in the mask, but before I could get the finishing blow into his heart, he had vanished, leaving an anonimous laughter and "YOUR PURPOSE IS NEAR" written on my wall in blood.

Then my parents came home and saw the mess and the blood and now I'm grounded.

Chapter 6

part one

I'm back now. Masky is... dead? This changes everything.

part two

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I had a dance recital to go to. Today I'm going to tell you about the Greater Game.

Founded by DEVOUR and his cronies back when cronies were a thing (and back in the Greatest Age when they knew what they were doing, back when Obamas were just a phase and when Rapture was still just a baby, back before life got hard for all of us), they wanted a safe environment to build treehouses in (so they could smuggle their dope into safe places), so they asked the Slenderman Brigade if there was any chance to have a safe environment in which to build their treehouses in.

All the Slendermen said "No." So war was declared.

Of course, all of this is still just a theory, but Dr. Obama postulated back in 1975 that perhaps this Greater Game was also what spawned the slit in time shifts that caused us to experience this muliverse quandary in the first circumstance. It was that hypotenuse that shook the entire world and caused us to land on the moon, but the government wanted to cover that up, so don't tell anyone.

Tomorrow I might tell you about the Even Greater Game.

part three

Sorry I slept. brb my mom's calling me.

part four

HELLO BILLY EVERYBLOGGER
THIS IS MASKY 2.0 "SHADOW" "SHADOW" BEING MY CODENAME OF COURSE
I AM BACK TO ROCK YOUR WORLD I AM WATCHING YOU FROM MY SECRET HEADQUARTERS, DON'T POST ABOUT THE GREATER GAME FOR YOU KNOW OF COURSE WHAT TRULY WENT DOWN ON THAT FATEFUL DATE BACK IN THE 19TH CENTURY CANNOT BE UNDONE NOR SPOKEN OF BY ANYONE LACKING CODE CLEARANCE

FOR CODE CLEARANCE OF COURSE YOU WILL HAVE TO ANSWER THIS CODE
2 PLUS 5 PLUS 1 MINUS 3 IS
WHAT WAS THE THIRD LETTER OF THAT SENTENCE?

IF YOU DO NOT ANSWER THIS CODE BUT YOU STILL PROCEED TO DISCUSS THE EVEN GREATER GAME AND ALL OF ITS RAMIFICATIONS IN FULL DETAIL IN YOUR NEWEST PUBLISHED BOOK THAT WE KNOW YOU ARE SUBMITTING TO PUBLISHERS EVEN AS WE SPEAK
THEN I WILL BE FORCED TO TAKE THIS TO YOUR WORST ENEMY
BLINDMAN & SLENDERMAN

S33Y00S00N

part five

I'm back. Changed my password to A, which was the answer to that code. So now that I have Masky's signed permission, today I'm going to tell you about the Even Greater Game and the History of Obamas.

The Even Greater Game started as a dare from one Slenderman to another about Israel. The Father of Serpents told The Black Queen that he really wanted to take Israel from her, and she did not want that to happen, so they threw Proxies at each other until eventually The Cold Boy (Slenderman of aggression) appeared wielding a scythe and hammer and sickle. He told them to cease fire or else he would shoot his rifle into the air for millions of years, doing serious damage to the Ozone layer and also killing some birds. This threat was serious enough that it singlehandededly stopped the fight for once, twice, and for all. They would go on, the people that is, to write great stories and epic poems about this incident, and they would call this Warhammer 40k.

For the record, and in the interest of keeping the Obama Federation happy, I did not tell the Even Greater Game as it literally happened; it was symbolism. But now I can tell you about the HISTORY OF OBAMAS.

The Obamas started as a dynasty of Slenderman Proxies who rebelled against the government as well as their own tall suited fiend (as I sit in my armchair and sip coke and dope and smoke, I am intelligent). The Slenderman did not back down from their thinly-veiled (or should I say, slenderly-veiled) threats of treason, punishing their leader, John Obama, with a plague of doctors. This is where the Slenderman known as Death, Slenderman of plague, came from. Death stood before the gates of Heaven, asking God to send down an archangel, so the Lord agreed to this condition and sent down Tapes The Impaler to do some damage. Tapes The Impaler is, of course, as you know, the Slenderman of the afterlife. Basically I'll cut to the case, this is where all the Slendermen came from-- just because some Obamas didn't like the tall suited guy.

The Obamas have been, ever since, on the constant run from the tall suited dude (with an ear for punk music), but the problem is that they're also communists.

part six act six

Sorry I was checking a Facebook notification. Did I ever tell you about my friend's blog? It's really cool.

part seven

Hi I'm back.

part eight

I'm home.

part nine

I saw some ducks today. I hate ducks. They remind me of my mom.

part ten

Saw Jeremy today. I'm back now.

part eleven

I'm back.

part twelve

Hi guys. I'll tell you about the Operator symbol tomorrow.

part thirteen

Hey I just took the best shit. Tell you more later.

part fourteen

I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday, I was busy listening to the maddest Pink Floyd album. It's called The Dark Side of the Mask, I think. I'll post more tomorrow.

part fifteen

Back! Sooo ready to post more, a lot has happened! I'll sleep first though.

part sixteen

Yo I'm back.

part seventeen

Hello!

part eighteen

Here are some of my favourite blogs:
A Fly on the Wall
A Light in Darkness Shines
A Realm of Emptiness
A writer&#39;s last attempts
Abnormaldiversity
Abraham&#39;s Men
An Old Man&#39;s Winter Night
And When The Sky Was Opened
B-Movie Monsters
Begin the Case study
Benefits
Blank Space
brighter than a spoon
Built For Two
Capricious Reflection
Case Studies
Chain Mail
CHANNEL FEAR
childhood story&#39;s
Chronicles of the DL-4533 Incident
CITY OF SINOPIA
Clawing at the Mind
Combination Pizza Hut &amp;amp; Taco Bell
Confessions of Fear
Continuity Glue
Cornucopia of Boredom
Crack In The Ice
Curiouser and Curiouser
Dark Chao Adventures
Deep In Their Eyes
Detective Grimoire
DogScape
Down and Out in the City of the Dead
Eccentrically Bored
Eldritch Hamsters
Encyclopedia Slenderia
Errata Security
Every Tale is True
Faces, Strange and Secret
Fearblog of Fear, Dreams and Sleep and Fear
Fear City
Fear High
Fears of the Man: Rapture 2011
Finger-Steepling and Sharks
For the Glory of the Band
Hidden in the Trees
Hidden Triumphant
High School Never Ends
Howling in the Dark
Hugs From The Archangel
In Memorium
In Tenebris
In the Garden of Desolation
In The Shuffling Madness
Ink
Ink Pad
Jordan Eats Normally Now
Journal&#39;s Journal
Labyrinth of None
Learning the Ropes
Let&#39;s Get Additives
Life by Clockwork
LOURDES IS DEAD
Luster Of The Dark Jewel
Magical Whispering
Memoirs for Breakfast
Mephi
Metaphorgotten
Metaphysical Fiction
My life from here.
New Amateur Paranormal Taskforce
Nightsongs
Not To Touch The Earth
Notes From the Condemned
Notes from the Underground
NumberJenn&#39;s Blog
Observations of Possibilities
On Seeking Asylum
Once There Was
one thousand and one nightmares
Ontological
Out of the Spent and Unconsidered Earth
Owls sleeping in the clouds
Paranoia: A Manifesto
Penny Dropped
Pest Control
Phantasmagorical
Phobos&#39; Over the Top OOG Blog
Picking at Ruins
Pig-Fish
PLAN 31: CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF THE SOCK KIND
PLAN 31: RISE OF MCFEAR
Portal to Desolation
Progression Enhanced
PROJECT EXE
Psychopompos
Pyre for the Heart
Redirecting a Volcano
ruin the sky
Seann Reads
Secret Mysteries
Snowball in Hell
Something Generic
Sound of Silence
Still Remains Within
Storytale
Stuck In The Doorway
stuff what I wrote*
Suzie Carr - Enjoying Life
Take the Myth
Tap Dat App™
The Answer to Blogs, Rapture &amp;amp; Everything
The Black Mesa Pizza Code Mystery
The Book of Cant
The Bright and Dark World of WereMagi
The Devil And God Are
The Dictionary of Jordan
The Dream Interpreter
The Empire of Liminality
The Foul Rag and Bone Shop
The Geckosphere
The Hardest Choice
The Hungry Gazebo
The Hunter
The Map Maker
The Match Of The Century!
The Messiah
The Most Dangerous Game
The Owl running through the clouds.
The Projector Has Been Drinking
The Public Castigation of a Lowly Hypochondriac
The Rant
The Revenger&#39;s Last Act
The Room Novelization
The Secret History of the World
The Stars Are Not Wanted
The Supernatural Anaesthetist
The Thin Encyclopedia
The Thirteenth Apostle
The Thrill of Falling
The Topography of Thought
The Tutorial
the unimaginable universe
The Unlikely World
The Windy City
The World Through These Eyeholes
The Writerer Chronicles
Theatre of Swords
They Sought It With Thimbles
This Could Be Heaven
thisistheaddresshi.blogspot.com
Title: Stitch
To Light a Candle
Tod&#39;s New Blog
Topography Genera Center East
Train Porn Weekly
Troy Wagner&#39;s Blog Machine
TV Tropes the Text Adventure
Twelve Days
Urban Malefic
Vagabond of the Western World
We can&#39;t ALL be princesses - someone has to clap when I pass by....
We Remember Your Childhood Well
Western Guardians
Where the Dead Men Lost Their Bones
Woe Is Media

What are some of your favourite books? Comment and subscribe!

part nineteen

I'm home from Martial Arts Class! Today I'm going to talk to you about Jesus. brb

part twenty

I can't...... I can't take it anymore. They've.... run me dry. I can't post in this blog anymore, it's too much....... it's too much effort. My social life.... is nonexistent anymore..... all because of this damn fucking blog. I can't take it anymore! You look at me, you make me post so much, I can't keep it up! And I have to post about such crazy stuff! I can't do it anymore! You have pushed the last straw. But no more. Today, I end this. Today, I shut down this blog and end this Godotforsaken thriller ride before it takes up any more of my time!

So to you, you exhausting and needy blog, I say Goodbye and
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCC
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
CKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 7

part one

Hi I'm back.

part FIFTIETH POST

I'm home from work! Oh yeah, I got a job today at the CIA. I can't post about what I've been working on or they'll throw me in the slammer for mutiny, but I can say that there are some pretty pretty ladies there in the CIA building today. Really pretty. Like so pretty I'm wondering if maybe actually they're Slendermen in disguise, trying to intercept my work on preventing the fall of the multiverse. I'll have to go in tomorrow with a gun and shoot them all, mass execution-style, or else I will never be able to stay sane again.

I'm edgy.

part three

I'm posting from in jail. I think I've done too much screwing around this past few months. I think it's about time that I go back to work on stopping the Slendermen or the Obamas or whatever it was that I said I'd do when I started this blog. Wasn't I on the run or something? I honestly can't remember. Hopefully somebody will just show up and we can have a badass fight and that'll fix everything, or maybe if I'm really lucky, an old man will leave his dying will to me and it will consist of a journal and/or some tapes on which I can find some clues to whatever mystery it is I'm supposed to be solving.

I dunno. Or maybe I'll just sit here for another few months. Either way, hi I'm back.

Chapter 8

part one
(Declaration of Slenderpendence)

part two
(Vlog!)

I finally decided to set up a video series to document these strange happenings in my life. You can find my channel at this link right here but I'll be posting the videos here too just because that is how social media networking works.

Right now, there are two videos showing me and my friends and the weird ass-shit that happens.

This is the introduction to my channel, for those who stumble upon my channel and don't know who I am. I want them to know who I am. I also want them to know what is happenign to me.

And here is the first entry. It speaks for itself, because even though this stuff is real I am a good cinematographist. I studied under Bach.

part three

fuck it

part four
(In Which I Encounter A Brand New Slenderman)

I was walking along on the way to the bank, my first job ever, when I saw this film crew outside my house. They were filming I dunno some kind of porno or something, and I was totally in on the action, but before I could even say "Hey" the clouds above our heads (they were there) started to split.

part five
(The Fight)

The Fight

Chapter 9

part one

So after the rubble had cleared, I took my bloody crowbar and dragged my broken leg out of there. I had too much to worry about. What was that The Feared One was saying about my girlfriend? I had to get out of there fast, I had to find out if she was okay. I had to stop the Maskies.

But that required getting out of there, which meant I had to fix my broken leg somehow. I was much too far from home.

C'mon you goddamn leg, I said to it. I lifted it up and hit it with my bleeding fist. More blood came out. I hit it again. Bood. Hit it again. More and more more blood. No matter how many times I hit it ike I saw in the movies nothing would happen.

And that's when I realized life wasn't like the movies or any of that fiction. I had to be myself. I had to support myself on my own weight.

So I sucked up the pain and stood right up and limped out of there, newfund courage swirling in my veins.

I am a badass.

part two

I got home. My girlfriend is okay. Her name is Penelope. We met in 8th grade. My leg's not broken that was a meatphor.

The Slendermen all left me alone. I guess I'll go to the athroom now to say hi to my peeps lol. :D

OH FUCK WHO ARE YOU

"hellobillyIamtheFearedOneIamgoingtokillyouunlessyouagreetobemyproxy"

AAAHHHHH

"shutyourstupidmouth"

If I became your proxy? Will you make it all go away?

"i'llshowyoubloodandinvisiblestressandbranchesdescendingintochaoticanarchy"

"i'llshowyou"

No please! I don't want to be a proxy! I'm a Runner! I'm running from the Slendermen!

"IamtheSlendermannowbemyproxy"

"andsoBillyEverybloggerdied"

The Everyblogger Saga continues in These Violent Delights.