MONDAY JULY 11TH, 2011
(SEMPITERNITY)

2:28 PM
Ugh.
Yeah, I guess I needed that rest.
How long did I sleep?
..where's Donnie?

2:30 PM
Downstairs now.
The sky outside is blue. A crisp bright Georgia summer blue.
This isn't real.
Living room.
My dad's on his laptop on the couch, typing away at his websites, his horse racing, his lists of movies. I can see through him at an empty dusty couch.
The empty space where should just be wall displays a television, with a documentary playing that I'll never watch.
Dad doesn't look at me. Because he's not real. He's a shadow.
Now there are many shadows on the wall.
They aren't connected to the Beast, the man on the corner, the Father my dad. My dad is just another remnant of the Musicians' powers working their way through my mind. I don't see them, and they might have gone on to torment someone else, but their effects linger.
The shadows on the wall are different somehow. I think they're really there.
They're humanoid and featureless, like Shadowclones but showing no sign of spontaneous reproduction.
They are just.. there. Not laughing at me. They stand and sway gently, naturally. Like they were once human.
I feel as if these are creatures I cannot name, but still there's a word in my head I can't trace the source of.
The Victims.
They know me. Something tells me I know them. They know my delusions all too well, and they have seen my nightmares.
They live nightmares every day, trapped as eternal shadows. How did they become shadows? That's not clear to me, and they won't say. They can't say. They want to say, I feel as if they might reach out of the walls and grab me by the shoulders, scream the answer to me. But they won't, as they can't. They're shadows. Forever now.
All they can do is shift along the walls of our disillusioned daydreams and pray we follow them down the rabbit hole.

2:35 PM
They're coagulating around the door to the basement.
Is that the rabbit hole?
Down the stairs, into the darkness, open the Door, and let’s have a peek.

2:36 PM
It’s a courtroom.
Huh.
Lots of creatures hustle to and fro, animals and man-sized insects, groups of what look like gingerbread men rushing past my feet, everyone has a place to go.
Statues along the walls depict something complicated I don't have time to process, as
"Mister Dooling?"
huh.
Someone in a tweed suit and a blindfold beckons me.
Who are you?
"Call me Sempi. I'm a friend of Father Tiresias. And right now, you very much need a friend."
What's happening?
"You're on trial."
...what's happening??
"We can't waste time, we've got to get inside."

2:39 PM
We've sat down at a bench. This looks like an ordinary enough courtroom, although there's construction going on around the judge's seat.
"The Judge wishes to see you."
Alright, well, who's the judge?
"The Judge is a Fear."
A Fear in the rabbit holes?
"You'll have time to wonder on the details later. I'm here to make sure you don't do anything stupid."
Well. Okay. Thanks?
Is he scary?
"If you look directly at him, your eyeballs will melt."
What?
"Also, he knows everything about you. So don't lie."
Okay... uh...
Is there anything I need to do, in particular? Am I going to jail?
"Just..." hand on my shoulder "Stay calm. Okay? Stick with that."

2:45 PM
The jury are all Camper, complete with fleshy wings and long arms.
The judge is not currently at the stand.
The prosecution is just arriving.
That. Is some kind of alien. Green, long neck, big black eyes, lots of arms.
Sempi's telling me not to stare. Right. Sorry.

2:48 PM
"Will everyone please rise for the formidable Judge?"
I can hear some sort of noise coming from the judge’s seat that sounds like a cross between a bass guitar making distorted sweeps and the soft pitter-patter of raindrops. Or perhaps popcorn. But not that loud. ..rice krispies.
I really want to look.
A Camper looked. His eyes are now being coated in a skin-coloured substance. The substance slowly burns away, and now all that are left are empty eye sockets.
Not even a scream.

2:49 PM
"COURT IS IN SESSION."
the voice is thundering and makes my bones twitch with odd high frequencies
"I HAVE A LOT TO GO THROUGH TODAY, SO LET'S MAKE THIS AN EXPEDIENT ONE. THE DEFENDANT IS ONE JORDAN DOOLING. MISTER DOOLING, ARE YOU PRESENT AND OF STABLE MIND?"
uh
look at the ground
Yes, sir.
"THEN WE CAN BEGIN."
my chair is raising, gotta look at the sides, look anywhere but at the judge
"I UNDERSTAND THE DEFENDANT IS FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM, AND HE ACCESSED THIS COURTROOM FROM GEORGIA, OR AS IT'S NOW CALLED, THE COUNTRY OF SOUTHERN GEORGIA. DID HE CROSS COUNTRIES LEGALLY?"
sempi "Your Honor, Mister Dooling crossed in an authorized vessel piloted by a licensed captain. The documentation has been provided as page 4 of the defense's report."
"...SO IT HAS. VERY GOOD."
"Furthermore, starting on May 21st of 2011, Earth time, neither the United Kingdom nor the United States jurisdiction which became the country of Southern Georgia has retained their restrictions on human migration between nations."
"A POLICY I DO NOT AGREE WITH BUT ACKNOWLEDGE. VERY GOOD. AND THEN HIS PRIOR ACTIVITIES ACROSS FRANCE AND SPAIN WILL HAVE FALLEN UNDER STANDARD EUROPEAN UNION FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT. VERY GOOD! HE'S PASSING ON MIGRATION. THE NEXT MATTER IS THE STATUTORY."
"The defense raises that the defendant's background fails to meet the requirements necessary to warrant an inspection of Statutory Violations."
"The prosecution concurs, Your Honor."
"ALRIGHT THEN."
awkward silence
look at the jury
...I can hear that one's eyes still making little popping noises
okay uh
look at.. my shoes…
"MISTER DOOLING. ARE YOU AWARE OF WHAT COMES NEXT?"
No, Your Honor.
"ARE YOU AWARE OF WHO I AM?"
No, Your Honor. I have been told you are a Fear.
"I AM."
So.. you're from Earth?
"I'LL ASK THE QUESTIONS.
"AS THE SITTING JUDGE OF THIS COURTROOM, I HAVE A DUTY TO OVERSEE PROCEDURAL MATTERS REGARDING INTERUNIVERSAL TRAVEL. BUT BEYOND THAT, AS THE FEAR OF RIGHTEOUS JUDGEMENT, I HAVE A DUTY TO BRING TO THIS COURT A MORE INTENSE PRACTICE THEY ARE NOT USED TO WITNESSING. I AM AN INQUISITOR. AND, NOT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION BUT AT LEAST TO ADDRESS IT, I SPECIALIZE IN THE FLAWS OF THE HUMAN MIND.
"MISTER DOOLING, I ALREADY KNOW YOUR GUILT. YOU ARE FREE TO ASK FOR CLARIFICATION ON THAT, BUT WHEN I PASS MY VERDICT AT THE END OF THIS TRIAL, IT IS FINAL."
I. What?
"AGAIN, YOU ARE FREE TO ASK FOR CLARIFICATION. IT IS ONLY NATURAL."
You already know my guilt?
"YES."
On what grounds? Guilt of what?
"I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE ENGAGED IN PHYSICAL ALTERCATIONS WITH MEMBERS OF YOUR OWN FAMILY, NOT ALL OF WHOM WERE FIGHTING YOU AT THE TIME. I KNOW YOUR ENCOUNTERS WITH LAW ENFORCEMENT, YOUR NEAR-ARRESTS, YOUR TRESPASSES OF SCHOOL PROPERTY AFTER-HOURS. THESE WILL BE DEALT WITH IN TIME. I KNOW YOUR BLOGS. I KNOW YOUR WRITINGS. I KNOW THE PECULIARITIES OF YOUR PSYCHOLOGY. YOU DO NOT GET PAST ME. I CAN APPRECIATE THE SUBTLETIES OF THE SITUATIONS IN WHICH YOU HAVE FOUND YOURSELF. THESE, ALONE, DO NOT DETERMINE YOUR GUILT; THEY ONLY NECESSITATE TRIALS FOR LATER DATES.
"WHAT HAS BROUGHT YOU INTO MY COURTROOM TODAY ARE TWO EVENTS THAT, IN MY EXPERIENCE, ARE ALMOST COMPLETELY UNHEARD OF.
"ON JUNE 17TH, 2011, EARTH TIME, YOU ASSAULTED A FEAR UNPROVOKED.
"AND ON JULY 8TH, 2011, IBID, YOU KNOWINGLY SABOTAGED" something "INFRASTRUCTURE.
"MISTER DOOLING, ARE YOU AWARE OF WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?"
Well, 'assaulted a Fear' can only really refer to the Harlequin.
"AND THE OTHER ONE?"
July 8th was only a few days ago. Was that the God Machine?
"CORRECT."
Huh.
sempi "Your Honor, if I may raise a point. The Harlequin, formerly Rosa Syclus, was assaulted by Jordan Dooling and Donnivan Rand on June 17th, this is acknowledged by the defense and by the Harlequin herself; however, she does not wish to press charges."
"...LUCKY FOR YOUR CLIENT. ALRIGHT. THAT DOES, IN FACT, ADDRESS THAT MATTER."
I'm.. surprised at that. Why wouldn't she want to press charges if there's, like, a whole Fear Court?
sempi "The Judge may be a Fear, but this court does not serve—"
"THE TIME FOR DISCUSSION IS ANY OTHER TIME THAN NOW."
"I apologize, Your Honor."
"SO. JULY 8TH. WAS THERE A GOOD REASON FOR YOUR ACTIONS?"
Would a good reason even matter here?
"MISTER DOOLING."
Right. Uh. I was acting on a lot of assumptions. I had gotten it from Tiresias that I needed to decode the Seven Ciphers in order to open his book, and then I heard that the God Machine was one of the Ciphers?
"SO TIRESIAS IS INVOLVED IN THIS. THAT IS NOT ENTIRELY SURPRISING."
You didn't know that?
"I WAS NOT CERTAIN. FATHER TIRESIAS IS INACCESSIBLE. HOWEVER, THIS DOES NOT CHANGE MY VERDICT. I AM READY TO DELIVER."
fuck
"JORDAN DOOLING, YOU ARE GUILTY. YOU ARE MOST DEFINITELY GUILTY. YOU SABOTAGED OUR SYSTEMS OF RELIGION AND COMMUNICATION. WITHOUT DEUS EX MACHINA, IT IS MUCH HARDER TO MANIFEST A UNIFIED VOICE IN XANADU. YOU DID A MOST DANGEROUS THING."
I'm sorry.
"COURT IS ADJOURNED."
...what?
my chair is back on the ground. people are getting up and leaving.
Sorry, that's.. that's it?
"YOU ARE GUILTY. YOU MUST LIVE WITH THAT."
But. That's??
...sempi's shaking their head
....I mean, alright.

3:20 PM
Sempi took me to the courthouse cafe and fed me.
So, uh.
"You're guilty."
I am, but, like. There's no sentence.
"Not as such, no. But the next time you see the Judge, you already have a record."
Well. I can just avoid this court, right?
"Can you avoid where you go here? Can you control your destinations in Xanadu?"
Well. No!
"Then you see the issue."
But does he have jurisdiction? Isn't he in-- god, this is ridiculous, you see that, right? God, I haven't felt... like actually threatened by anything in such a long time. I feel like the gods are just fucking around.
"Hm. Have you heard of the principle, 'Death By A Thousand Cuts?'"
No, but that sounds self-explanatory.
"You're still young. You have a lot to keep track of. You're bound to slip up somewhere."
I guess.
I dunno.
I really thought destroying the God Machine was what I was supposed to do.
"Did Tiresias tell you to do it?"
Not.. in so many words.
"He gave you a vague prophecy."
Yes! Precisely.
"That's him."
Do you think he set me up? Or that I'm an idiot.
"Tiresias wouldn't set you up. Not without a plan."
You put a lot of trust in him.
"I've known him for a long time."
Arghh!!!
I don't know. I don't know what any of this means. I don't understand what's happening.
I've.. been asleep for so long. I've missed something important. I.
Donnie. Mister Brown.
Can I go home? Can I go back?
"You're done with trial, you can go wherever you need."
Okay. Well. Thank you, Sempi. It's been nice to meet you.

4:09 PM
Came back to Earth, left the court the way I came in.
Donnie was sitting in the driveway, watching the trees. She had no idea I'd even woken up.
She says Mr. Brown left this morning. He had something he needed to do. Then, this afternoon, she saw a school bus drive by up the road. She thinks he went to confront Death.
I.
Dammit.
I probably could have... stopped him? I probably could have at least talked to him. But I was asleep. And then I was... wasting time down in wherever the fuck.
Donnie says she understands, but, I think she's getting a little sick of backing me up. She must be.
So we're taking the car, we're getting the hell out of here. I've had enough of Georgia. I'm gonna drive, I'm gonna let Donnie sleep this time, I'm gonna take care of her. And we're heading for Nebraska.
I'm gonna make things right.
I'm gonna...

6:04 PM
…I’m just gonna play some music, okay? Okay.
There. Metallica. Death Magnetic. I’ve had this album in my head all day.

9:58 PM
Donnie woke up. Says we should probably get some rest soon.
Even though I’ve been asleep for days, I feel like that’s not a bad idea.

10:59 PM
Stopping at this house here. Middle of nowhere. Just off the road.

11:02 PM
..there’s someone here. They’re running around back.

11:04 PM
There’s a giant pond back here.
I don’t see anyone nearboh.
There’s someone crouching by the pond.

11:05 PM
A giant tentacle is rising out of the pond. It’s grabbing the person
and
pulling them in.
o_e;;

11:07 PM
..and the person is climbing back out of the pond.
“Hello, Rael. Victoria.”
Oh. Hi, EAT. o__o;
"I hear you've been busy."
We, um. We did a thing with a Cipher.
"Yes. Would you allow me to read your journals?"

11:13 PM
The Camper took my journal and skimmed through it.
"Ah, so you've heard of my meeting with the government."
Oh! Oh right, that was you! You're Salmacis!
"The name made sense. I see you've also met the Archangel, the Musicians... Tiresias... and the Judge. You've met a lot now."
A lot of them meet us, really…
"You've made some questionable decisions in all this. I wouldn't advise making so many enemies."
Well... ^^;;
"But your work with the Ciphers is promising. That's the best lead so far."
I was told I may have, um.. done something really bad? By destroying the God Machine?
"You may have. Or you may have just attracted the wrong kind of attention, which would make sense if these Ciphers are the key to preventing the terminal coming of Rapture."
But you don't want us making so many enemies?
"As far as I see it, Rapture is already our enemy. And, furthermore, any wrench in the system will either help us, or at least teach us something about how our enemy works. So even if you fail catastrophically, you'll be doing the world a favor."
Um.
donnie "We'd rather not have to die."
"Of course. In any case, your plan is to head further west?"
Yeah.
...wait.
...should I have not shown you my journals?
"It was, by all measures, another strange decision on your part. I thank you for trusting me, as I benefit from it, but should you trust me? I don't know how to answer that."
donnie "Are you a threat to us? Are you going to hurt us?"
"I have no reason to. You're just two additional bodies, and any knowledge I may gain from your brains generally already finds its way to me thanks to your indiscretion."
Well.
Thanks..?
"Please. Now, I encourage your westward progress. There are still plenty of Doors, allowing search for the remaining Ciphers, and furthermore, you will end up near California."
What's in California?
"Someone else claiming to know you. It is primarily a trend of graffiti, all in the same hand, asking for your whereabouts by name. I have not yet seen the source of this. I can look into it further, if you wish?"
Would. Would that trouble you? I'd appreciate the help.
"I will look into it further."
…
"That's all."
...o_o

11:46 PM
Uh. Yeah. We're driving on.
The Camper was just.. standing there, by the pond, outside the house.
We didn't want to sleep in that house.
...god, that was weird.
God, today was weird.
America, you're weird.
Nebraska. California. Right. We can do this.

(Attached: “So there I was, far closer to the start of my long life, roaming some supermarket in Germany for food, looking for some more beer and hoping for mead, when I heard this weird noise from a few aisles down. Sounded like a church organ being hit with a train. Then there were slow steady footsteps, and out came an androgynous figure in plain clothes and a blindfold.
This person called to me, asked if I was Tiresias. I quickly replied,
--- Tiresias is dead. I’m Thoth.
-- You’re still young... I am the Sempiternity. You don’t know me.
--- I don’t, that’s right. Who are you?
-- I am the Fear of forever. I’m looking to talk to whoever’s left on this planet.
--- Well, civilization’s rebuilding all over; there are plenty of people left.
-- I mean the Fears. What Fears are left?
I paused to think for a bit. We hadn't used the 'Fear' moniker in quite some time.
--- I know there’s the Musicians and Salmacis.. and the Omen, too. I think Red survived— that is, the Colour of Blood— though she probably went back to Tuonela.
Sempiternity said, surprised,
-- This is a small list. What about Death? Or the slender man? Surely one of the Brothers Sleep survived!
--- Death’s gone. Slendy too. I don’t know who the Brothers Sleep are.
-- You really are still young, Thoth.
This elicited a shrug from me.
-- What about this planet, what happened that took such powerful beings?
--- Rapture came.
Sempiternity’s head fell into their hands.
I put an arm around them and said I knew how they felt.
A little while later, we walked together out of town, taking to the deserted forested streets. I talked about the apocalypse Earth faced two years prior, and Sempiternity told me about where they were from.
-- I was a human once. It was too long ago, too far away. The Fears took me and tortured me, judged me, made me one of them. I was to live forever, they said. To be an immortal. That’s my only power, that’s all they did. I can’t die.
I said it sounded awesome.
-- I can still feel pain. I can still suffer. If I undergo too much pain, I go to sleep and wake up healed, my aching dulled, my wounds scarred.
I stumbled and listened.
-- It’s been so long since I was human. I don’t remember who I was, what my name was, what my life was. I don’t even remember if this was my universe. This is why I searched for Tiresias; I was hoping his library would hold my book.
--- I understand. I’m sorry.
-- He was my best friend. He walked down the road of aeons with me many times; he always said he’d show me his library some day, and we’d be able to look for my book together.
--- Well, if you want, I can help you look for it. I’ve never stepped in his Peisistratos myself, though I know people who have. And I mean, it’s not like I’m doing much these days. I’ve been wandering ever since the world was saved.
The Sempiternity gave a wide smile and held out a hand.
-- Let’s shake on it, then. We’ll be new friends, and we’ll look for the Blind Man’s library.
I took that hand and I shook it tightly, happy to help. Then we set off down another road towards new names and old faces.”)