FRIDAY
JULY 22ND, 2011
(Walking)
12:32
AM
Donnie's had to drive
us in a circle, as the cops figured we were headed west.
We've found a ghost town. Sign says Pahrump.
The lights of Las
Vegas New Sanctuary
are still visible, so we haven't made as much progress as we've
wanted.
I'm sure this place used to be something.
It will have had people
in it. But the proximity
of such a big city, a blatant safe haven, has emptied it and left it
abandoned, all the better for us.
We've parked in a garage. Not
much more than a little shed, but it hides the car.
12:40
AM
God, it's. It's just
nothing
out here.
"It's so flat."
There's
some trees here and there, around the few houses, but they were
clearly planted for the sake of... what? Suburbia? A budding attempt
at suburbia?
The dominant plantlife is desert shrub. It's. It's
a desert.
It's some roads in a desert.
"There's
nothing here for us."
Nothing
at all.
"It's perfect."
o_o? For hiding from the
law?
"That wasn't the
law. That was some
business that saw an opportunity to roleplay soldiers."
4chan
wet dreams.
"No, this place is perfect for you
and me. We can see out
for miles, we can see if anyone's coming. And who's
coming? This is a
piss-poor dinky little patch of road. The monsters are going to be
attracted by that."
the lights in the distance.
She's grabbed my shoulder.
"Let's
live
here."
Uh?
1:05
AM
We spent some time
scouting out houses that aren't too
destroyed. Donnie killed some spiders for me.
There's no
mattresses, no bed, only the floor. And a couch that was fucking
destroyed.
But
she's laid there on the floor regardless. Sprawled out like it's the
comfiest thing in the world. She's not even in her big combat suit,
she's raw-dogging it. In her. Dress. Which is not what "raw-dogging"
means.
She wants me to come to 'bed.'
.....I mean, fuck it.
2:08
AM
life is kinda cool,
sometimes.
9:02
AM
Morning.
Sunlight, filtered red through what's
become of our atmosphere, beams through a broken window. Thank fuck
it was broken, as last night was a scorcher. We'd have just
left it open anyway.
There's a noticeable stain on the
floor in the corner of the room Oh yeah, that was last
night.
And there she is, still asleep. :) Covered in sweat, hair
sticking to her face, mouth quivering with snores. God, I love
her.
This is.. yeah.
This is what I've been wanting.
9:09
AM
Good morning, cutie. Welcome to awake.
"My
ass."
You slept on the floor!
"I see the error of
my ways."
9:11
AM
We're standing up now. We're awake.
"I miss
working toilets."
Yeah. You know we're not going to find
one of those here, right? In this town.
"Oh.. I guess I
said some things last night."
Don't get me wrong! I thought
it was really endearing.
"I was sick of the day we'd had. I
still am sick of the day-by-day trudging along."
I can
drive us today.
"Thanks."
So. Just to be clear,
we're not staying in this town?
"Fuck no. This place
sucks."
9:14
AM
"..our car is gone."
No.
"Do you
see it?"
It can't be gone! The night was dead
silent!
"But do you know what this means? We have to
walk."
In this heat! :C
"Do we even have
water left? Food?"
Whatever was left was still in the car,
wasn't it?
"Fuck!"
Are we... are we sure
the car's gone? Maybe we parked it in a different shed. We did go
looking for other houses after we parked…
9:20
AM
No... no, this is it, this is the only shed around
here.
Which means. Someone came around here when we were asleep
and just took it.
Which means. We have to walk.
10:20
AM
We've been following the roads, the same roads we'd have
been driving on.
We don't think we have to worry about the
police. Hell, it's possible they're the ones who repossessed the car.
But if we see them, then we... uhhh. We'll run. I guess. Unless we
want to get into a shootout? I'd rather it not come to
that.
Thankfully, Donnie had brought the rifle into the house
last night, in case we had to clear out some zombies. So we still
have that.
And I still have Tiger Stripes.
I've had
to get back in the habit of using it again, as there are some
wildlife critters out here we don't want to waste ammo on.
11:20
AM
I swear the spidercats are learning. They're staying away
from us, as they know we don't have any food on us.
Meanwhile
there's vultures and bugs.
Constant fucking bugs.
My guitar
is covered in dead bugs. I keep trying to scrape them off on
the road, but it doesn't matter, as I'm just gonna kill more bugs
minutes later.
We are so thirsty.
12:20
PM
Donnie has taken to singing "A Horse
With No Name" to keep her spirits up.
She's sung it enough
times now that I know the words too.
Plants and birds and rocks
and things, sand and hills and rings.
la laaaa laaaa laa
lala laa, lala la... laaa laa…
1:20
PM
I miss my Rapture Duck.
Evidently those things are
still ducks at heart, they won't be found out here in bumfuck
heatwave.
We.. really need to stop soon.
1:34
PM
Taking a break.
"Jordan?"
Yeah,
baby..?
"Why are we going west? Sorry, I mean."
pant. pant. "Why are we trusting EAT?"
It's. The best
lead we have right now.
"It thought the Ciphers were a good
idea."
So did we.
"And it said it'd find out more
about the graffiti. The thing we're walking into."
It..
it did.
"The potential trap."
Potential.
"..."
she's too tired to argue. or she's just listening.
I just. You
have to let me trust someone. Please. Even if EAT isn't the
right source to count on... like, in trusting it we are
performing an overture. Extending. Performing? And I feel like
EAT is at least one to appreciate respect. We trust it in this
matter. This says nothing about what we think of it in
general. Because. We don't know it.. in general.
"…"
Talk
to me, Donnie. Tell me what you're thinking. I trust you too. I trust
you more.
"No, I'm just thinking... what we actually need
is a plan. A plan for what we're doing when we hit California."
Oh.
We do need one of those.
"Because, like. We're not just
going to cross the border and then immediately meet whoever's waiting
for us. All we know is there's graffiti in California. That's
not specific."
No, it's not.
"So I'll tell you
what we need to do. We need to look for EAT."
:D!!!
"It
has lots of bodies, right? We only need to find one, any.
That's not as hard as looking for a single person."
Yes!
"But
I want us to avoid the other Fears. We've got a job to do. And that's
all."
Okay. I'm good with this.
"We're already
this far. I think it would have made sense to go to California
anyway."
1:44
PM
Back on the road.
2:20
PM
Our luck turned around, as we came upon a car. It was
ditched for a reason-- it doesn't work-- but in the trunk were
some bottles of water.
With renewed vigor, we press on! o:
3:20
PM
This still sucks. We think an upcoming hill is going to
reveal something new, and it never does. It's all one long road
through a desert. A fucking desert!
But Donnie's not
losing her spirit. Our talk, and that water, keeps her going.
So
it's A Horse With No Name for us.
3:32
PM
this fire is out of control, it's gonna burn this city,
burn this city
4:20
PM
we can't stop until we reach shelter.
every minute I
pray we walk into a rabbit hole.
5:20
PM
did I ever mention.
I don't even like water.
and
there's some new.. sound in the distance.
some kind of thump.
thump. thump.
I thought it was my heartbeat for a while, but
it's external. donnie hears it too.
6:06
PM
Wait, hold up.
There's fence-posts. Do you see
those? We're coming up to fence-posts. And a sign that doesn't look
like another "SPEED LIMIT 60."
Is this the border?
6:07
PM
Someone's up there, off the road and walking onto
it.
Someone armed.
They know we're approaching.
6:09
PM
Bald guy in camo and wraparound sunglasses.
He's
the... Border Patrol.
We need to present our passports.
I
don't.. think I even took my passport out of my house back in
England?
This is a little silly. What, is there a lot worth
guarding in California? Did all of America's living rich people move
in and barricade the walls?
...border patrol says yes, literally
that.
Huh.
donnie's asking if he knows of somewhere we can
take shelter and get some rest.
and there are some. in
california. other side of the border.
"Not even a guard
station? Where do you rest?"
"Other side of the
border."
"This is ridiculous."
"The
law's the law."
yeah. c'mon, donnie. remember, california's
a separate country now. they do have the right to do this kind
of LITERAL BULLSHIT.
6:10
PM
we're walking back the way we came.
no, of course
we're not gonna walk all the way back.
we're gonna get out of
sight, then leave the road.
ideally, we're gonna look for a
rabbit hole.
if we have to just cross the border off-road, we
will.
"we're armed too."
6:28
PM
OKAY I ESPECIALLY HATE NOT WALKING ON THE ROAD
IT'S
SO UNEVEN AND SLOWER
6:33
PM
"wait, do you see that?"
what.
the
giraffe?
with legs as long as its neck, so its body is halfway
up its height.
"it's not an apocalypse monster. giraffes
normally look like that."
wait, really? I could have sworn
their neck was longer than their legs.
"they wouldn't be
able to hold up their weight if that were the case."
huh.
learn something new every day. so?
"so, what's a giraffe
doing at the nevada-california border?"
..checking
passports? please donnie I can't think straight.
"I bet it
got here by rabbit hole. as in, I bet there's a hole nearby."
let's
not just call them 'holes.' that's.. weird.
6:47
PM
it happened without warning, as they have tended to
lately. a giant portal without a door, walking on and then suddenly
we're on a rooftop.
a building surrounded by ocean. gargantuan
cliffs and a waterfall behind us. a sky full of stars and bright
colorful space-clouds.
donnie tells me those are called
nebulae.
the atmosphere is already so refreshing. gone is the
stagnant heat, now we are rinsed with cool perspiration.
I feel
like we can breathe again.
6:48
PM
So how did the giraffe navigate this?
6:50
PM
Oh dammit. We're gonna have to descend a lot of
stairs, as this is a tall building.
And as Donnie pointed out to
me, it'd be wise to look a little more and find some food before we
allow ourselves to pass out.
6:52
PM
Lots of mannequins on these floors. Dusty lamps, boxes.
This is all some kind of storage.
We can't eat mannequins!
6:57
PM
oh my god it's a shopping mall.
with a food
court.
"free samples…"
oh we're
gonna sleep tonight.
7:20
PM
only stall that was open was something called Fried
Burger. they were asking for a currency we've never heard of (the
sign said burgers were Z2). so we just stuffed ourselves with free
samples. didn't need to eat a ton. just enough to make us feel
tired rather than hungry.
7:25
PM
On the way back up the stairs.
Someone else must be
up here, because some of the mannequins have moved.
But we're
not stopping.
7:29
PM
Rooftop. Cool
rooftop. Gorgeous rooftop.
I thought this day would never
end.
No talk, journal.
Just rest.
God, rest.
We
need a car...
(Attached
is a detail from the Book of Ptah:
“By
the power of Legsteps, out
here in the abyss, I've
created
writing. Such a discovery, I will be the first to acknowledge, did
not seem likely, but perhaps there's some proto-universal constant to
be found in linguistics. Or perhaps, more likely, loneliness is to
blame for all that is. Is that really so likely? I don't feel lonely.
For the first time in millions of years, I am free. I have left,
behind me, the contemporary for the instinctive, the true, the
all-permeating around.
My powers, ancient, are reborn in a
hydrogen cauldron. Chemistry no longer seems so quantum, so reliant
on observer effects. I create a nose, I inhale, I smell deep space in
all its majesty. I create ears, I listen, I hear distant solar flares
cackling spells into the abyss. I create eyes, I open, I behold
constellations of coincidence-- an astral chalkboard on which I may
plot and rediscover arithmetics my memories only cry at. I create a
form, I am, I exist.
Perhaps I discovered writing so I might set
my thoughts in stone. There's certainly a lot to see.
Right, I
have a body. I smell, I hear, I see, I am. I think.
What will I
make now? Other than a question.
Vanity, I shall make a
mirror.
Comets, send me your inertia. Planets, give me your
gravity. It has been… quite a while since I last created an
independent object, and I don't want to blow up a solar system in my
rustiness.
And so the comets sent me their inertia, and the
planets gave me their gravity. A sheet of ice rose, unbounded by
dimensions, solidifying with the ordinary temperatures of this corner
of space.
Still something is missing. It isn't so reflective. I
need a star, a real god's forge.
..with an invisible finger I
implant on the ice a light touch. It rockets forward at incredible
speeds, spiking through a sun, spinning, arcing, tracing a boomerang
line in the vacuum, until at last it returns to me and I stop it with
a blink.
Mirror, vanity is your name. Behold the words on this
reflective page! Behold my face, my design, my make. Behold, I
create, and I am!
…so what will I make next?
How about a
planet? Much mightier a task for mine eldritch arms. I'll need lots
of hydrogen, lots of carbon, and… what goes into making a planet?
Now that I stop to think, I don't think I'm too sure. Maybe I should
stop and ask for directions.
Alright, but before I set off on
such a journey, unknown be the people I'll
see, I want a walking stick.
And so the comets sent me more
inertia, and the planets gave me more gravity. A block of wood rose,
unbounded by dimensions, and with a fierce crack I bend and break its
tendons, hurtling the excess chips into the nearest star (nature's
furnace, my workshop's wastebasket). I bend force to wood, I force
wood to bend, until at last staring at me with inanimate faceless is
my ashplant, my walking stick, SBOMTEN
etched effortlessly around its diameter. Timeless rune, a window into
who we once were. Characters and phonemes do not match. What does it
matter? Wordplay for wandering wizards.")