SUNDAY JUNE 12TH, 2011
(Donnie Goes to London)

3:12 AM
My mouth’s starting to bleed.
Mistress says it’s time to tell me the news.
"It's Donnivan's turn to go and convert some bitches. I want her to go to London."
Handing me a list. It has two names on it.
Donnie's not here; she's upstairs.
"I know. I want you to tell her."
okay. ._.
"And one stipulation: If she goes in any rabbit holes, I'll have her hung from a pole and lowered into the sea. Her trip should take her six days, and I want my six days."
..okay…
"I'll leave you to it. She'd better be done by 6 AM!"
…fuck.

4:29 AM
Donnie’s not taking the news very lightly. I’m trying to explain to her that London’s fine, London’s easy, she can make it. But at the same time, I’m kinda just saying that. I have no idea how easy or hard it’ll be, and she’s not even allowed to enter any rabbit holes. What if she goes in one accidentally? Judging from Lloret, they can be hard to predict.
I’m also trying to assure her that things will be better when she returns. That one’s the hardest to convince her of. Myself of.

5:45 AM
Well.. I promised her, when she gets back, I’d make love to her. I was all out of ideas, and I just.. god. I wanted her to go; I didn’t want her to die. I might die while she’s gone, that’s fine. But I want her to have a fighting chance. And if that means promising I’ll fuck her in a special way somehow, then so be it.
I gotta admit, as much as I’m tired of sex with Mistress, I like the idea of it with Donnie.
She’s agreed to go. It was that promise that did it. I don’t know if I’m taking advantage of her or if she’s taking advantage of me at this rate, but I think what’s important is, it made her smile.

5:54 AM
I’m walking her to the edge of town.

6:01 AM
She held my hand the rest of the way. We said our farewells, and as she left, she turned and said “Keep your promise. That’s an order.” With a wink and a smile.
I love orders, journal, but I loved that smile so much more. :D
It was nothing like Mistress’ permanent smile, smudged on with lipstick and grinning from ear to ear. It was warm, it was temporary, and it was real.
I miss her already.

6:40 AM
As I got home, Mistress was standing by our front door, watching me arrive. She said nothing, only waved, turned, and left.
Donnie’s gone now.
This is gonna be a long week.
I’m going to bed.

3:21 PM
When I first woke up, I expected to see Donnie next to me in bed, like usual.
A second later, I realized what was going on, and fully expected to see Mistress watching me sleep.
Neither person was there.

5:41 PM
Music, take me away, distract me. Please.

10:39 PM
Someone’s at the door.

(The next several pages have been ripped out. A piece of paper is attached to the tears: “He taught the Harlequin everything he knew about pain, and he put in her mind the idea that the only way to come to terms with it is to teach it to everyone you love.”)