THURSDAY JUNE 9TH, 2011
(Systematic Chaos)

4:39 AM
FIRE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

4:42 AM
MON DIEU C’EST TRES TERRIBLE

4:56 AM
NON, PARIS! PARIS EST SUR LE FEU! POURQUOOOOOIIIIII?!?!?!

5:13 AM
I JUST REALIZED THAT LAST ONE WAS IN FRENCH SORRY
PARIS IS ON FIRE! WHYYYYYYYY?!
BECAUSE, YOU SEE, PARIS IS ON FIRE. IT SERIOUSLY IS. YES, THE WHOLE CITY.
OHHHH MY GOD I CAN HEAR PEOPLE SCREAMING
PEOPLE! REAL PEOPLE! SCREAMING! DYING! ON FIRE!
OH MY GOD DON’T BURN JOURNAL DON’T BURN JOURNAL
WHERE’S THE EXIT OH MY GOD

6:04 AM
Okay, I’m on the highway, I’m getting the hell out of here. I’m going to Calais, I think.
I think.

6:32 AM
Gas station nearby. I hope there’s a rabbit hole.

6:40 AM
OH FUCK

6:45 AM
RABBIT HOLE THANK YOU
Okay okay okay so I walked into the gas station and a car pulled up and some French people stepped out with guns and shouted “LE BOUFFON BLANC!” and I mean you know what that means by now and
FUCK

6:48 AM
OUTTA THE WAY HIPPO I GOT RUNNING TO DO

6:50 AM
Okay. Okay. I’m hiding in a dumpster. The dumpster’s in the jungle. ‘Cause this rabbit hole took me to a jungle. But the jungle had a dumpster in it for some reason. And see, the French people followed me in. I kinda forgot anyone could enter rabbit holes.
…oh! Hi! Eat crowbar!
BYE

6:55 AM
Taking a break from running, oh my god. So I didn’t realize how conspicuous a dumpster is as a hiding place in the jungle. They looked in it. I think I either killed or badly injured one. Two left. I think.
Oh god. Gotta run!

7:16 AM
Ohhhhhhhhh fuck oh fuck
LION
RUN OH MY GOD
HI GUYS
CAN’T TALK
GOTTA RUN
SEE YA

7:27 AM
shhh
hiding in some shrubbery
I can hear a french guy screaming
I think they found the lion

7:43 AM
I think I’m safe now.
Guess I’ll start walking through this jungle of motherfuckery.

10:42 AM
I’m in Dover?
I’m in Dover?
How the fuck did I get to Dover so quickly?
..hotel.
I’m gonna get more sleep. I’m still tired from last night and all that running and crazy.

11:00 AM
No zombies, no nothing. Just an empty hotel.

11:11 AM
I wish that, when I finally make it back to Blackpool, I can see Donnie again.

8:39 PM
…’nother rabbit hole? That building was another rabbit hole?
The hell? Wait. Where, wait, no, where the hell am I?

8:41 PM
LET THERE BE LIGHT.
That’s not light, that’s darkness.
Expected there to be light after opening this door; there’s not. Just darkness.

8:45 PM
It’s a narrow corridor, that’s for sure. Brick walls, definitely brick.
I can’t see shit. I can only feel the brick.

8:46 PM
I hear a faint noise. Sounds like a.. wind? Except a little too rough to be a wind.
Like.. I dunno. Whispers?

8:53 PM
I see a faint light up ahead. Someone’s standing under it.
Someone a little.. thin. Awfully slender, you could say.

8:55 PM
Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s the slendeNOPE IT’S THE RAKE
NOWHERE TO RUN OH MY GOD
FUCK
I HAVE A CROWBAR
I’LL USE IT

8:57 PM
OH MY GOD MY LEG
EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT CROWBAR YOU BITCH
ALSO I APOLOGIZE FOR THE USE OF THE WORD “BITCH” UNDER SUCH NEGATIVE CONTEXTS
JUST EAT SHIT AND DIE

9:01 PM
Oh my god. The Rake’s dead. The third Rake.
That one was painful. It fucking got my leg.
Like, I still have my leg, only now I have a huge gash down it. Another huge gash? God, I don’t know anymore, I’m all mixed up.
Two. Ow, three. Hurts, oh my god.
I need to disinfect this shit.
But first I need to reach the end of this fucking tunnel.

9:29 PM
I’M HUNGRY AND MY LEG HURTS AND IT’S DARK.

9:30 PM
..exit. o_o
OH WAIT that’s just the exit to the tunnel, still in a rabbit hole.
I can tell, see. ‘Cause there’s all these three-headed snakes on the floor.
This is some kind of cocoon. I’m inside a giant cocoon. All the snakes are slithering around.
Crowbar time!

9:32 PM
OH GOD
The cocoon dissolves. I’m now in a cave. Now it’s a cage.
…I know this shtick, Rapture. Next, the stalactites and stalagmites will close me in and shut me tight, then I’ll compare this to 22nd street, and then we’ll hear a keyboard solo and then the guitar will get heavy and outside the cage, I’ll see my brother John.
Yeah, Rapture. I know how this stuff goes.
..oh, or maybe there’ll just be a door right here for me to use.
Either.. either one’s fine.

9:36 PM
This is a hospital.
…works for me!

9:40 PM
..all the patients here are Rachaels.

9:41 PM
The receptionist is a Rachael too.
She saw me and instantly said she’d get me an appointment. She giggled with it.

9:43 PM
All the nurses are Rachaels. The nurse said the doctor will be in to see me in a minute. Why do I get the feeling that I know who the doctor’ll be?

9:44 PM
Wait, that’s not a Rachael.
My leg’s better.
The doctor’s gone.
That wasn’t a Rachael. That was Ace Man!
But my leg’s better.
What the fuck.

9:47 PM
On the way out, the receptionist told me that I will experience side effects of feeling like there are bugs crawling around in my leg for about a day or two, but other than that, I’m fine.
Then she told me that it’s best I never return to this hospital.
She said “The Beacon is not one for healing the same patient twice.”
“The Beacon.” Huh. Guess that’s Ace Man’s name.
..Beacon. Ace Man. Trying to decide which sounds cooler.
Beac-y. Beaky. B-Lag. …Ace Man it is, then.

10:01 PM
I’ve been back on Earth recently, walking down this highway.
Just goin’ north.

10:37 PM
Goddammit. I’m getting hungry.

10:45 PM
This is gonna be a long night.

10:59 PM
I see headlights. Shit.

11:00 PM
..it’s a puppet driver. He says he’s here to take me back to the Mistress.
He also says the other Driver got to listen to some good music, and that he wants to hear what’s so good about my stuff.
Mistress, you’re controlling all these guys. So thank you for the flattery.
I suppose I’m gonna be forced to return the favour by the time I get back.
Okay, fine. I’ll give this driver Dream Theater’s Systematic Chaos. Can’t get enough of that.

11:11 PM
I wish for good luck with the reunion.

(Attached: “The SLCEMs were planning on setting fire to several key strongholds of the enemy they feared so much, but thanks to the White Jester, we got access to their gasoline and made an example of them by burning one of the most beautiful human achievements to the fucking ground. Europe was back under our control and would stay that way for a while. Say what you want about the Harlequin’s lack of restraint and unorthodox methods, but she was smart to send someone who didn’t know the actual details of what he was doing. That one accomplishment would wind up influencing our greater decision of how to approach.. bigger things.
Wir werden dich zu lesen lehren.”)