WEDNESDAY MAY 25TH, 2011
("world with empty eye sockets")

12:24 AM
I think they’ve passed. I think we’re safe.
..I think I’m going to fucking sleep.

3:30 AM
Donnie woke me up, she couldn’t sleep. Guess we’re heading off already.

3:41 AM
Okay, I’ve put my CDs into one of those CD folder things. This is much easier to carry. I’ve got bags, I’ve got Tiger Stripes, I’ve got my Pot Noodles and my soda; I’m completely ready.
Donnie, still tired, has got her share of snacks and drinks. She’s got a steel frying pan, too. And a T-shirt from something called “Bloomsday.” Isn’t that a department store? ..anyway, uh, we’re setting off now. Good luck to us?

3:45 AM
Out of the neighbourhood. No sign of spidercats or anything yet. God, it’s bright for 4 in the morning.

4:18 AM
We’re going towards the motorway. It’s the fastest way to London. ..I think. The high street is quiet, as always.

4:30 AM
We’re nearing the motorway. Donnie’s quiet. Tired.
I can hear a faint cawing noise. Like a crow.

4:42 AM
The cawing seems to be getting louder.

4:59 AM
Okay. I’m hiding behind a car. I don’t think the Big One saw me hiFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

5:01 AM
It stopped. It’s turning back. What the fuck. YEAH YOU’D BETTER RUN.
Okay, where’s Donnie, there she is, she’s behind that car, got it.
We got everything? Good, good, good.

5:32 AM
We’ve been walking down this motorway for a while now. We haven’t seen a single soul, just miles and miles of busted cars.
I admit, I was kinda expecting to run into some other travelers or something.

5:50 AM
Getting light. Very light. No sun, though. Just red.

6:13 AM
We played “I Spy.”

6:38 AM
Found a car, a big SUV, filled with good food and drink and whatnot. Time for a picnic!

6:40 AM
“So why do you wear that.. outfit, anyway?”
Good question. I dunno, really. I like to look distinguished, I guess. Makes me feel comfortable. And cool. Kinda like the Doctor or something!
“Looks more like the Blues Brothers.”
Yeah, there’s a bit of Blues Brothers influence, but that was really more of a coincidence. I wear the coat because of the slender man, and the hat’s inspired by Yahtzee Croshaw. But it’s all just influences, not really that important.
“I think I’ve heard of Yahtzee. What’s the slender man?”
Oh! Haha, the slender man! Goodness. It’s an urban legend, this tale of a man who’s seen in the backgrounds of photographs. He’s tall and faceless and wears a business suit and tie. Hella creepy when you read all about him late at night. Left a big impression on me.
“Sounds cool. What does he do?”
Nobody’s really sure. Usually, the people in the photographs with him go missing. Sometimes they’ll turn up later, disemboweled and strung up on trees. Sometimes they’ll turn up insane, sometimes wearing masks and being violent and unstable. Sometimes they simply won’t ever be seen again.
”..he’s not real, is he?”
He’s not supposed to be. He’s entirely fictional; his creation was well documented on a Something Awful thread.

6:45 PM
Moving out again!

7:02 AM
We’ve still got a long way to go. I’d forgotten how tedious and monotonous motorways were. We’re probably gonna stop and rest soon. Maybe.

7:37 AM
OH GOD NO WAY NO FUCKING WAY NO NO NO THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE
oh, it’s just a dead guy in a business suit. Never mind. Hahahaaaa, never mind. Nothing, never mind!

7:45 AM
Donnie’s getting tired. I mean, she seemed pretty tired when we first set out, but now she just looks exhausted. And I admit, I’m pretty tired, myself.
We’ll stop soon.

8:11 AM
We just passed Croydon. We’re closer than I thought. We’ll rest iHOLY COCK

8:13 AM
WHY THE HELL DOES EVERYTHING WANT MY POT NOODLES

8:16 AM
OHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD THIS IS BAD THIS IS VERY VERY BAD WHERE’S DONNIE OH MY GOD WHERE IS DONNIE
There she is, next to me, never mind.

8:20 AM
…it’s gotten quiet, so I’m going to write.
You’re not going to believe this. …actually, you might. We were walking along when all of a sudden, BAM. All the cars on the motorway started to move. They moved into one giant mass, and they have formed a giant motherfucking cobra. Made of cars.
I’m going to call it the Carbra. Getting past this thing isn’t going to be easy. We’re hiding behind a tree.

8:23 AM
Maybe we should try talking to it.
“….you want to try talking to it.”
..okay wow that was stupid.

8:27 AM
Okay. Okay. I’m going to make a mad dash for the next tree. Tiger Stripes, give me strength.

8:28 AM
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckmade it.

8:31 AM
Okay, now Donnie’s got the courage. She’s gonna make the dash.

8:32 AM
YOU MOTHERFUCKER EAT PLASTIC GUITAR

8:35 AM
OKAY WELL EAT POT NOODLE

8:38 AM
EAT MORE PLASTIC GUITAR YOU MOTHERFUCKEasdfgh I just got smacked in the face with a tire

8:43 AM
We’re running we’re running I got Donnie and we’re running we’re running oh my god AHHHHH

8:47 AM
We’re hiding. Behind a truck. I sure as hell hope this isn’t, like… the Carbra’s penis or something. I hope it’s just a truck. Either way, we’ve got more problems.
Motherfuckers can fly now. The zombies. The motherfucking zombies can motherfucking fly. They have wings now. ..motherfucker.

8:49 AM
God, the sound of their wings flapping where the hell can we go

8:50 AM
Donnie’s got an idea. I’m following.

8:51 AM
FUCK YOU FLYING ZOMBIES FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF RUN RUN RUN RUN

8:52 AM
I WISH I HAD A FUCKING GUN

8:55 AM
Donnie led me to a shed on a hill. She’s locked the door. I like where this is going. >w>

9:01 AM
Sitting by the door, listening for the flying zombies to go away. Yeah, this isn’t quite where I thought it was going.

9:05 AM
We’re both yawning several times a minute. I don’t know how much longer we can stay awake.

9:07 AM
Now that I’ve gotten a chance to really listen to those damn things, I’m less annoyed and more.. unnerved. The sound of the wings, that is. The flapping.. it sounds like.. swishing. Liquid swishing. But it also sounds like breathing. I’m gonna try to zone it out.

9:13 AM
….she fell asleep and is now across my lap. Shit. I’ve never, uh.. looked up what I’m supposed to do now. Do I.. do I feel her up? Do I kiss her? ..why am I writing in my journal when I could be doing all sorts of— fuck it, I’m just gonna sleep, too.

5:59 PM
Note to self: “You have nice pants” isn’t a good compliment. It’s a bit weird.

6:14 PM
This place has a stove. Had a Pot Noodle. It was tasty.

6:32 PM
Fucking shitcrabs, they’re still out there.

6:38 PM
There’s a basement door in this shed. It leads to a long staircase. I think it’s a rabbit hole. I brought this up to Donnie, and I think she wants to check it out. She’s nervous, though. Never been down one of these before. Then again, it’s hardly like I’ve been down more than once.

6:43 PM
Led us to a shed that looks pretty similar to the one we were previously in, though the front door is now large and steel. I’m gonna break it down.

6:44 PM
We’re in a small blue room. There’s nothing in here.
WHERE’D THE EXIT GO
Okay, we might be trapped. I’m gonna see if I can break the walls down OH GOD FLOOR OPENED UP

9:40 PM
awake ow
hey donnie
Eah. Hi. We seem to be in a void. A black void. In front of us, a good five or ten feet away, is a lone door. But directly in front of us is the void; there’s no floor. Well, there are, uh… patches? Patches of floor here and there. I don’t know how safe they are to step on, though.
NO NO NO WAIT DONNIE DON’T oh. Kay, the ‘patches’ are very safe to step on. Kay, we can easily cross, then.

9:42 PM
The door led to a small office. There are several doors around us.

9:44 PM
Upon trying a door, I was presented with a long corridor. At the other end of the corridor, I could see a giant screaming face approaching me at terminal velocity. I quickly shut the door. I hate this place. It’s all so typical horror shit but I hate it all the same.

9:45 PM
Donnie opened a door and found some rotting corpses. She wants to open any more doors, either. So what are we gonna do?

9:48 PM
We’ve looked all over. There aren’t any other options. We’re gonna have to open another door.
Fuck.

9:49 PM
We drew straws. I got the shortest one. Okaaaay here goes.

10:01 PM
We climbed out of a manhole. In a street.

10:05 PM
LONDON WE’RE IN LONDON OH MY GOD

10:12 PM
We found a stationery store! Oh my god, they have tons of journals! I am so taking one. Perfect timing, too. This journal was just about to run out of

10:20 PM
I got myself a new journal. Fancy. Pretty. Huge, too. Nobody’s here, so Donnie and I thought we’d just.. take stuff. We’re gonna look for a map. HMV’s gotta be close.

10:24 PM
This street’s pretty weird. I can hear the laughter of little children. YEAH I HEAR YOU GUYS, THIS STUFF WASN’T SCARY IN THE SHINING, IT WILL NEVER BE SCARY

10:27 PM
Found a bus station. Had a map. It says we’re at the wrong side of the Thames. Fuck. I can see Piccadilly on here, though. Should be there in an hour, I’d say.

10:31 PM
Donnie’s been awfully quiet. Then again, so have these streets. Where is anybody?

10:35 PM
We’ve hit the Thames. Bridge nearby.

10:39 PM
Donnie says she’s been seeing things. Strings around corners, nearby, moving. Personally, I’m pretty sure that strings are the least of our concerns right now.

10:40 PM
Hit the bridge. Crossing the Thames.

10:42 PM
God, the Thames is a huge river.

10:45 PM
I just heard a splash. Donnie’s here, she’s okay. Looked over the edge, nothing.

10:47 PM
strings everywhere in the corner of my eyes

10:49 PM
Past the Thames, we’re on the wrong other side of London now, no strings anywhere.

10:55 PM
…gotta admit. This sure doesn’t seem like the right side of London. At least we know where everybody is now: They’re all inside the buildings! Looking out at us from the windows! Most of them look like zombies.
Let’s.. keep our eyes on the road. <:D

11:00 PM
Graffiti says “HMV this way.” Thank you, hoodlums!

11:03 PM
The zombies are definitely very creepy. They’re all standing in the windows, staring out at us.

11:07 PM
Hit Trafalgar Square. I know this place. We’re close.

11:11 PM
Did I say “close?” I meant “halfway.” I wish it wasn’t so far away, dammit.
Hey, where’d that door come from?
urp

(Attached: “I live in a world with empty eye sockets. Countries grope for light switches, assisted by no one. Nature calls this ‘politics.’ I call it 'aftermath.’ Then again, I’ve been called much worse. I carry, in my hands, a book larger than life itself. A god handed it to me as a sort of graduation present. We’ve passed the final exams and now it’s time to leap blindly into the real world. I have seen this book time and time again in my travels– one could almost say my coming of age, if one so ancient as I am could have a definite age– but never have I had the chance to read it. Now that I finally have it, my eyesight is long gone. It was taken in one of my moments of passion, a rare time where I dared step up to nature. Back then, I had only one name: Derek Taylor, the name I was born with. Now my names could fill a book of their own. If ever they did, and for all I know they might, I’d keep it here in my library for others to see. And if they ever asked me the time of day, I’d say to them the same thing I said to the gods when they dared call me 'eternity’s historian:’ Nothing at all. There is no time of day, not now that the apocalypse has come and gone. There’s only the sound of rain to assure us of our existence, and the faint approaching red shapes in the void that even we the blind can see.”)

(Attached, other side: "Disclaimer:
The logs go down a certain path here. If you are not comfortable with unconsensual sexual themes, skip to June 18th. This is the cleanest way to do this.")