SUNDAY MAY 29TH, 2011
(Everyone's Benefit)

7:05 AM
I’m happy.
"I'm happy too."
Hi, Mistress.
"It says here you want to 'deal with' me."
I, uh. I just want to make sure that Donnie and I can be safe.
"Well said. I want that too. I need you in top form for your job on Wednesday. I'm looking out for you, you know? I'm trying not to grow too attached, but I am looking out. And I have a small errand for you to run today."
Anything, I'll do anything you ask!!!
"I know you will." something like a kiss on the cheek "I want you to go to the top of Blackpool Tower. You want to go up there, don't you? Every tourist does, and you, my pet, are just a tourist here. You need to be up there at noon, not a minute later. I'm having a package delivered right to that spot, and the postman must not be kept waiting. I'd get it myself, but I have other things to do today. You can give the package to me tomorrow morning."
Okay. o:
"And I want to be crystal clear on this: Under no circumstances are you to open the package. Don't go reading my mail. Don't go poking your nose."
I won't! I can do this!
"I know. I know. But I also know you often think you're too kinky to be punished. I assure you, I will accept that challenge if provoked. I have ways. Do not doubt my power. Did you know that my Puppets can all still think and feel? That they're aware of what I force them to do? I can do that to you."
I won't disobey, I promise!
"I need. To make. This. Clear. You do not 'deal with' me. I deal with you. I can replace all of your skin with wood. I can lock you away for eternity, or rather, until you get used to it."
grabbed my head
pulled it closer to hers.
she's. staring at me. with her painted, unblinking eyes.
"Do you understand?"
I understand!! I obey!!
"…"
I obey, Mistress!!!
"I'm sure you won't disappoint me."
she let go of me
"I also don't want to leave you so scared, as much as it's making me so fucking wet to do that to you. A scared pet isn't loyal. So I'm going to cheer you up."
How are you going

(These pages have been removed. For everyone's benefit.)

11:34 AM
I’m at Blackpool Tower. Now I’ve just got to go up.

11:48 AM
THERE MADE IT.
..fuck, now I have to wait.

11:50 AM
For posterity: Last night, when I got in bed, Donnie just immediately hugged me and asked me if I was really alright. After all the zombies.
Journal, I’m beginning to think she likes me.

11:53 AM
I wonder how the postman is gonna get up here. I mean, Blackpool Tower may not be a very tall tower, but it’s certainly far from ground level. Maybe he’ll go up the stairs like I did.

11:58 AM
I’d better start keeping a lookout.

11:59 AM
Nothing yet.

12:00 PM
NothMOTHERFUCKER
He’s gone he left a box what what what what.
That. But that.
That was, that had to be, I mean we're already dealing with the Rake, why wouldn't that faceless man have been...
Why am I still alive, he was right there, I don't even feel a light cough!
That was the slender man!!!

12:11 PM
Anyway, um, he left this package. It’s labelled “To: Harlequin.”
Harlequin?

12:34 PM
Back to the main street. This package smells a lot like rotting meat.

12:57 PM
God, the stench. It’s worse than shit. I think I can smell shit in it.

1:11 PM
strings in your head don't open it

1:30 PM
HOME

1:31 PM
Package safely put under the bed. The terrible stench is gonna get it spotted, for sure, but at least I won’t be the one who opens it.

4:56 PM
Donnie complained about the smell in our room. I insisted it wasn’t me. Troper 1 suggested it was the smell of the zombies drifting in. Fuckin’ saved my bacon, pal.

6:28 PM
YEAH I KNOW RIGHT, WHAT IS THAT???
god this is so awkward

7:12 PM
Gaaah, I just wanna go to beeeed. I want to be a good boy and not be killed please please please.

8:30 PM
THIS DAY IS TAKING FOREVER

10:02 PM
Dinner was beans and hot dogs.Yummy. I suggested an early night. Donnie agreed. With a wink. Holy fuck, my life might just be good.

11:15 PM
We cut the cuddling short because the stench was getting unbearable.
Mistress pretty much cockblocked me. D:

(Attached: "I'm a piece of shit, I'm a miserable little piece of shit. That's how finding my father's notebooks affected me. I had so fixated myself on living large and being a rockstar that I hadn't bothered with restraint or self-reflection, and all this time my father had been wrestling a crippling depression. I didn't even know. He spent his childhood fleeing one government, finding the next country's government not much better, and migrating more. This brought more perspective on the reasoning behind my family's move to America when I was just a little boy. In his later years, he saw his son taking a musical talent and running it into the ground, and yet none of his notes criticize me. He saw what he believed to be American corruption turn his own spawn into an apathetic alcoholic, and he turned not to his son's faults but to the system at large. And my father never once turned to drink, himself. He was a man of a certain kind of constitution: That of self-harm. I had no idea. My mother did. This is why she grew more stressed in the years leading up to his death. She cared too much about him, and this only made him feel guiltier. When I joined the Sunsetters and we released The Mythology of Empathy, my father's notes are nothing but glowing praise and adoration. He described our music as 'the inalienable victory over the greedy eagle.' Yet at the time I kept partying hard and refusing to give a damn about my family.")