Our fiscal year has just ended, and the slow trudge of workers turning in their financial reports has been reduced to the swift trickle of stragglers. This strikes me as a perfectly good time to talk about the layout of a Topography Genera Center!
There are four buildings in the overall Genera grounds. One of which, at the very front, is a simple multi-story car park, but I doubt you're reading this update to learn the juicy details of that place. Beyond the car park, standing as two mundane man-made mountains in the mist of an English morning, are P1 and P2. Identical in layout inside and out, they still manage to make up the backbone of the Genera's organizational structure. Both P-buildings are made up of several floors of offices (known as the Central Information Department), with adequate regulated medical and security areas in all the necessary places. I don't happen to know the architect, but I get the feeling he would grumpily if not un-nostalgically declare to his family members that mankind has made no substantial advancements since Modernism. The Central Information Department is where we handle.. well, all the information. We have the necessary servers to hold databases full of research, journals, and memos, we handle the phones, we manage finances, we take care of PR, and we read your blogs.
Beyond that triad of thrills, there's the real reason anyone gives a care about the Genera: A tiny guard station followed by a one-mile-long indoor corridor before entering the Goliath warehouse-like complex that is the Fossil Research and Experimentation Department. You could call it FRED. Or, if you're the sort of person who receives any company whatsoever, you could call it Fossil Research. I don't go down to those labs very often-- hell, I don't recall ever setting foot in there-- and word is on a need-to-know basis, but I still hear the occasional. Fossil Research is where the labs are, it's where our higher-ups work, it's where you go when you get the right kind of promotion, it's where the juicy secrets are. I wouldn't be surprised if they have Fossitrons lined up, millions of quid's worth of humanity's real achievements, ready to activate at a moment's notice if not just activated indefinitely.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is where your money is going: Into science. Don't worry about any ideas of your taxes going towards paying me to read blogs; only Fossil Research receives that. CID is paid for by the same private funding it's had since before the grant.
Speaking of blogs! There's one circulating the blogosphere called Jordan Eats Normally Now; evidently it was the diary of a teenager who ran into what looked to me like FT-LAZARUS and FT-OVER THERE. I've just finished reading through it today (you don't realize the "job" part of "be paid to read blogs" until you're scouring through pages and pages of a 10-year-old rambling about Paper Mario games), and I've sent it along to the departments responsible for actual legwork.
I'm bringing this up for an important reason: Some are whispering about an "EAT" Fossil, saying that the beast lurking in the blog's depths is something we haven't documented. We take these concerns very seriously. Under any other circumstance, we would be filling out forms, performing investigations, taking samples, running tests under microscopes, filming PSAs, all in the interest of giving you the most information we can about some water bug called "EAT." But this shows all the signs of FT-LAZARUS (or FT-HADES, except for the very direct nature of the entity's interaction as shown in the blog's videos).
This is good news, though! FT-LAZARUS is a Fossil whose respective Genera documentation is comprehensive. We can handle this, unlike if it were some vague unknown threat.
And this is what my job is, just another example out of thousands every day: It is my trained judgement that filters out the Fossils from the accounts. I like to think I use some kind of future vision to spy where the FT-BUREAUCRATIC RED TAPE is going to appear, and then I apprehend it justly with my scissors of coherence. I am the saviour of bureaucracy, along with my many coworkers.
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