THURSDAY JULY 21ST, 2011
(Who Once Ruled the Streetlights)

9:31 AM
Rabbit hole hotel. Rock solid fake beds. I tried calling some room service, a voice on the phone accepted my order, there was a knock at the door, and when we opened up, there was no one there, just a tray of food on the ground. I ordered a mushroom burger. Donnie got a korma.

9:44 AM
Eaten.
I guess I should write some explanations, huh?
Well.
I had to leave the library, I had to think things through.
It's. Really fucking sad to know that she's dead. She was someone I knew, someone I had history with, someone who, all things considered, did actually help me not feel so totally alone for a while. I had dreamed of getting to meet her one day. I was scared that our breakup would have meant she wouldn't want to see me, but, like, I can't even confirm that. Maybe it wasn't as bad as all that. Maybe she would have wanted to come with us. I could have talked Donnie into it, I think. Donnie would have liked Anna. They're both really sweet and…
..did I even really know Anna all that well?
Do I even really know Donnie...?
We do talk. I don't write everything down. We chat about the world as it once was, and our gripes with school. Donnie had British schooling, which has its differences. Donnie also grew up with a lot more British TV than I did. And she'd seen a lot more American movies than me, as American movies get distributed everywhere, and I.. well, okay, it's complicated. My parents were film buffs. It sometimes felt like there was always a movie on at my house. But they were often black-and-white movies, or off-beat 2000s comedies that dad found really funny, or the myriad thrillers and supernatural horrors that mum loved. I watched kid movies. And TV. So much TV. Dad did show me Watchmen in theaters when that came out.
Donnie's seen all the classics, the Ghostbusters, the Blade Runner, the Bourne movies, the Back to the Futures, the Breakfast Club, something about a Wong Foo. Hell, Donnie watched Samurai Jack when it was on TV. I didn't watch any of those. I did see some Samurai Jack, but it was always too slow for me.
What did Anna watch?
I remember her mentioning Donnie Darko. Neon Genesis Evangelion, definitely never got around to that one. She talked a lot about musicians like Ben Folds and Foxy Shazam. And she talked a lot about that Homestuck.
I think, of all those things, I was familiar with Donnie Darko. Donnie is too.
But, like.
Media is all I really know of people. And some details about how people feel about their families. A loose idea of what creative things people like doing.
Is that, like. Is that just an internet friend thing?
Is it also just a me thing? It doesn't... come naturally to me, to just chat about anything else. What is there? Sports? Card games? I guess, for adults, there's jobs. I'm not even that good at talking about food.
So, like.
So.
It's not that bizarre, to feel a little bit of sadness and then move on.
...I hate that I feel it. And I hate that I feel expected to move on. And I hate that I'm.. just.. going to.
And, like. Another option is vowing revenge. But she died in the Cipher Realm. And we killed the Cipher. We got that revenge.
…
Anyway.

9:50 AM
So I left the library, I went out the Door, I came to Utah. I felt what I was going to feel. And I found the slender man. A slender man? He watched me from a doorway as I passed through. I didn't even notice him at first. I just noticed a lot of fallen leaves gathering under my feet. The last thing I remember is looking around, noticing him.
Then.. Donnie was sleeping next to me in this hotel.
My journal is blank for those missing days, except for those tally marks again.
I can.. I mean, I can take a guess as to what happened. I went with the slender man somewhere. I killed for him. I marked each kill.
He's the slender man. In the stories, that's the kind of thing that he causes.
I guess it doesn't have to have been kills? It could have been fucking pill bottles stolen from college students, for all I know. Masks bought from Wal-Mart and decorated with creepy black marker.
Donnie says she doesn't know about all that, that when she couldn't find me in Castle Dale she ultimately decided to head west.
First she walked, dragging her rifle on the ground behind her, my journal in a pocket in her now-tattered combat suit.
Then she found a car and drove until night fell and she slept in a gas station. She considered sleeping in one of the many department stores or supermarkets she passed, but the bigger buildings out there could hide all sorts of threats. That night, she didn't notice anything, but the journal still had the tally marks come morning.
So she kept moving, driving through interstates, switchbacks, and national parks. She occasionally saw small packs of travellers, and even less occasionally passed another moving car. More often, she saw a dog, always waiting for her at the towns she drove through, always already there. She didn't stop for it. In between CDs on the car stereo, she could hear cawing, sometimes screams, and sometimes gunshots.
Night fell for the second time, and she started looking for good empty buildings, when she drove through another road-sized rabbit hole and ended up in a desert at daytime. And she kept driving, at least until the car got jammed by sand and she couldn't get it unstuck alone.
And that's when the Thunderbirds came. Blacking out the sky in a tremendous storm, convincing her to stay in the car and grip her gun. They flew in circles, cawing a cacophany, whipping up a wind that morphed the sands in front of her, building a hotel of desert brick that rose out of the ground. Immaculately carved. And then there wasn't a single bird in the sky, and the hotel's lights were on. Sign said The Lookout.
So she waited a few minutes, bracing for jump scares, before going inside and getting a room.
And this time, late in the night, she heard the door open. And saw me walk in. And saw me collapse on the bed next to her, writing the tally marks in the journal, then pass out.
She says she stroked my hair a little before she fell asleep. She says she's just glad I'm back.
...me too.

10:00 AM
I talked with Donnie as I wrote all this down.
I thanked her for keeping my journal safe. And I apologized for going off by myself, which was dumb.
"I had the feeling you weren't gone for good. I'm starting to.. get used to how all this works."
All the Fear stuff?
"You."
o_o;;
"I never did tell you, did I? That.. friend of mine, who I wanted to go to Nebraska for. He was my ex."
Oh…
"There's been anxieties in my head, for sure. I've wondered if, in our travels, we'd find him... dead. Or even alive. Honestly I don't know which makes me more anxious. Because, I needed him at the time to help me get through a.. thing with my mum. My parents' divorce... my mum's alcoholism."
Yeah. That makes sense.
"But, did I really know him that well? Was I just using him, in a hard time?"
I don't know about that. I don't know how friends work, I guess, but that also means I don't know if taking advantage works that way. I mean, I guess I don't know the whole story? But I don't need to. If he's willing to focus on you when you need the company, that's... friendship.
"Is it romance, though?"
Uh. o__o;; I'm even more ignorant on that one.
"When his own life got stressful, he didn't depend on me. He just cut it all off. Said he didn't need me around for this."
That's.. different, then.
So you thought maybe you'd be able to find him and show him that you can help?
"Yes. That's.. pretty spot-on. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this."
holding my hand.
I think we do understand each other. :)
"Was it like that with you? And Anna?"
Y'know, I.. don't.. actually know?
I think it's more likely that I proved I was too caught up in my own problems to be able to help with hers. Or maybe even.. to even really listen to her.
"You think? So you don't actually know."
No. I didn't want to.
"Then you're being too hard on yourself. And you clearly want to know now."
Now when it's too late, yeah.
"I think you're going to feel that for a while."
Yeah.

10:13 AM
Well, we've set out. Went to the elevator. This hotel has thirty-two floors, and our room was on floor thirty-one.
...can we see the top floor?
"Uh. Sure?"
Sorry, just. 32 is my favorite number. .w.

10:14 AM
Floor 32, here we-- that's blood. Blood all over the walls.
Just like one of my Japanese animes…
"What?"
Metal Gear Solid.
"That's an anime?"
No, it's-- y'know what, forget it. Just keep that rifle handy.
"Okay. And you keep Tiger Stripes handy, okay?"
Yes, ma'am. :)

10:15 AM
End of the hall. Door 417.
"Why can't Xanadu ever keep its numbers straight?"
The door's locked.
Looking back, already something's changed with this hallway. The blood splatters on the walls are humanoid now.
Except for that one.
The far end of the hall is a tall human in a black business suit. If he has a face, we can't see it.
This fucker again.
DONNIE YELPED
WHAT
The human-shaped blood things are full-black now. They're shadows. They're.. the Victims.
Some of them are hanging around us, and some of them are approaching the slender man.
..door 417 opened. I think we're being ushered inside.
The slender man is leaving. Is he.. scared of the shadows?

10:16 AM
Inside Room 417.
It's.. just another room.
But the shadows, the Victims, are hanging around the chairs and beds. Like they're trying to sit, like regular humans.
donnie "Did.. they just save us?"
"It has no power here. Not in our hotel."
You can talk?!
a shadow nodded.
donnie "I didn't think the slender man was scared of shadows."
"He isn't. But that wasn't the slender man. That was one of Xanadu's constructs."
Oh shit, lore. Please go on. Constructs?
"With the coming of the red sky, Xanadu grabbed onto many of the Fears and dragged them into dark worlds. It took their forms and created many shadows."
Shadows, like you?
"We are the Victims, as we were once human like you, before we were lost in other worlds."
shit.
"What Xanadu did to the Fears it ensnared is somewhat different, which we believe to be because a god will cast a far greater shadow than a human will. We are humans who have lost our bodies. Xanadu's constructs are new beings, clones, carrying on a wholly different will."
So. So Xanadu has the slender man trapped?
donnie "We saw him in that factory! That must have been him!"
"If you recognized what you saw as the slender man, then you have not seen him, you have not seen what has been done to him."
Maybe we just saw another construct.
"You have likely seen many constructs. Xanadu has taken multiple Fears."
Why would it want to.. clone them?
"It is likely not a conscious act. It is the operation of many systems."
Right, yeah, 'cause it's a whole universe. I get it.
donnie "So, the, uh, real slender man. Should we... try to... rescue him?" looking at me
"You will not make it to his prison."
another shadow "His oubliette!"
another shadow said something about a 'plonk level?'
now the shadows are all arguing.

10:22 AM
"The least we can do is tell them..."
Yeah? Tell us what?
"Who the slender man was."
"Who Xanadu wants him to once again be."
"The Beast."
"The Beast."
"THE BEAST!"
o__o
"Understand, word gets around when you live as the absence of light. There is nowhere we cannot go, often unnoticed. And we are Victims who are stuck here in Xanadu."
"We have heard the insectoids speak of their tales. We have heard the gingerbread poetry cycles. And there are many voices without bodies that speak until spoken to…"
"Tiresias says a lot more when he thinks he is alone…"
They’re forming one large shadow on the wall: A four-headed, four-horned dragon. All heads overlap in one single orb.
"The Beast was the firstborn of Sanche, a far more ancient name. We will always be part of his great misdirect. It is said that all gods answer to one of Sanche's thousand names. But the Beast…"
"The Beast embodies Fear and betrays it. He once ruled the streetlights, leading us home like a wise and dark shepherd. His power was born of our anxieties. A robe of blood and shadow cover his torso, a scepter of black fire and branches speak for him after he swore his vow of silence."
"The Beast removed his own face in order to ensure his silence."
"The Beast was the leader of the gods."

(Attached: "This is all true.")

"Perhaps he will break free of Xanadu of his own accord, return to Earth, and be our leader once more."
"Would he want to, after he was so betrayed?"
"Xanadu did not reach out and grab him. Someone on our side forced him into his prison."
"But even if he does not want to, he must. He is the only one who can challenge the Lamb."
"The Beast and the Lamb. The Beast and the X. The Beast and the Harlot. This is the triad of the end."
..wait. I’ve been hearing that name a lot lately.
What is the Harlot?
The Victims are forming a shadow of a naked woman with a bull’s head.
"Tiamat was never meant to kill Marduk.”
“She is our creation myth. We have her to thank and her to blame.”
“She watches over us all, influencing our decisions, challenging our assumptions. It is she that will sacrifice her vessel to usher in a new age: The Beast would use her to end the world, and the Lamb would use her to bring us to Rapture. Unless she finds it in herself to control the Lamb.”
Huh. And so who is the Lamb?
The shadow of a man, arms outstretched, feet of a bird, tail of a scorpion, in a coat, with a circle around his dog-like head.
“The terminal messiah, follower of the Blind Man’s Book, he lies down on Broadway always in the presence of enemies.”
“It is he who will face the Beast in the Final Battle. If the Lamb wins, Rapture comes. If the Beast wins, the apocalypse may last for years.”
“Should the Beast win, Fear will follow in eternity’s shadow until the sun is finally put down. Should the Lamb win, the sun will never.”
Are you saying we’re going to die either way?
"October 21st will decide.”
..THE COMING OF RAPTURE IS OCTOBER 21ST?!
October 21st, asdfghjkl;
That’s only three months from now.
"It is literally three months from now."
O_<
..it’s been exactly two months since the apocalypse started. It feels.. much longer than that.

10:52 AM
As I was saying that, we just... got un-rabbit hole'd.
No more Room 417. No more prophetic Victims. Hell, no more hotel!
We're.. standing in the middle of a busy sidewalk. People walking by us, regular people. But.. a blue sky above.

10:55 AM
We're in Las Vegas.

11:43 AM
So, uh.. we’re definitely in Las Vegas, Nevada. It looks completely normal. The cars look a little more beaten than normal, but they all pretty much work. And people all look.. human!
We went into a restaurant and asked around about this place.
This city has been renamed New Sanctuary. It’s kept safe by the local police force– privatized, mind you– which is the NS division of the Rise Against Fear Anon guys. They do a really good job.
When Donnie asked about the blue sky, the guy we asked said it’s provided by the “ants of the sky.”

12:34 PM
Nobody’s wanting to talk much.
Everyone does their job, carries onward ever forward. The advertisements, in newspapers and on billboards and on TV, allude to Fear presence, though never anything specific. It makes me want to just get a job somewhere, myself, so I’m not left in the open for Fears to get me.

2:52 PM
..what's that.
Two men in black who I can't focus my eyes on. Walking into an alley.
do you want to see?

55555:4444 PM
The alleyway stretches, far, into fog.
A blur in a suit and hat is just visible farther down.
I..
ope
Donnie grabbed my shoulder.
You're.. here too?
"Don't."
What?
"Don't go after the Musicians, Jordan."
I.. didn't realize you were here.
"Is this the kind of thing you do when you go off by yourself? Go staring into the face of gods?"
It might be. I never really believed in gods before all this, I don't think. I'd go staring into something else. My own soul? The sad reality of the people around me?
"I don't want you to do it anymore. Not without me to pull you back."
...a hissing static sound from behind us. where the musician was.
"He's trying to pull you away. He wants you to go out there, all by yourself. Don't you see?"
The... the Fears aren't all monsters, Donnie. ._. We've been meeting so many, EAT, Tiresias, the Victims, who've proven that.
"How do you know that? How do you know they're not filled with cruel deeds they've done to other people?"
I don't! Obviously! But
"But what? Do you think you're just luckier than everyone else?"
No! Well, I have no opinion on that and I can't, because luck is unverifiable.
"Then what? Talk to me, Jordan! Please!"
I!! Don't think they're going to do anything physical to me! The Musicians especially, they're all about the mind. And I'm good at my own mind! I'm not good at a hell of a lot of things, but I am good at my own damn mind, okay?
"Not good at.. what?! Jordan, you've been the best boyfriend I've had! You've kept us both alive!"
I.. boyfriend?
kisssss
"They're preying on you, baby. They're leading you away from me so they can separate us for easier pickings. They know the other Fears, dummy. If they don't kill you, they know someone who will."
...yeah... that's a point. >_<
"You hear me, you jackasses?! You won't separate us!!"
don't. please, don't make them angry…
"Heh. So you do think they're dangerous."
Well, so far I've just been taking the risks myself. I don't want to lose you. D:
"You selfish asshole."
Point taken!
more kissing
....so. Where do we.. go from here?
"What, you want to do it here? You want them to watch?"
No! God! I meant where do we physically go? Just, the way we came in?
"Oh! Um. We can try!"

4444:55555 PM
The streets outside the alleyway are just as fuzzy. Text on signs is just a bunch of unruly scribbles.
"That sky looks like static with pastel colors."
Yeah.
"Sorry, just trying to come up with more descriptions for you."
:)
..you think I need the help? Am I not doing a good enough job?
"You're doing fine, silly. It's your journal. Your little... project."
Is that what it is? My project?
"..you're the one who's supposed to tell me what it is. Why do you write this stuff down?"
So I can remember it later? And it gives me something to do the rest of the time.
"Then it's your project."
Okay. :)

333:22 PM
"Excuse me."
..a Musician behind us.
Donnie's not having it. "We're not here for you."
"We can see that." a second voice, that's the other musician "Do you want us to let you out of here?"
Yes!
donnie's holding me back "Can't we find our way out by ourselves?"
"If you wish. We will make it so you believe you are leaving of your own accord."
"....okay, well, maybe you can just let us out, then."
see, donnie? they're capable of reason!
"yeah, they're not dogs. of course they can reason."
then please, can I just talk to them?
"absolutely not!"
hnnng
Sorry, guys. She says I'm not allowed to talk to you. :(
":(" ":("
"they didn't really say that. you just wrote that."
"We will get our chance."

5:07 PM
We just appeared here, back in the alleyway. I guess we didn't really go anywhere.
"No, but time's passed."
So it has.
"So we should.. try to make some progress while it's still light. Get a car, get moving. If your EAT is to be trusted, you're wanted in California, remember?"
Hey, yeah! And maybe, on the way, we'll find another deep rabbit hole so we can find the next Cipher!
"No, we shouldn't."
....oh, fuck. Right. Well, can we just find somewhere, like, a cafe to sit in for now? I wanna go over that journal again, since I wasn't here for it. I want it to sink in.
"It's a date."

5:34 PM
The seventh Cipher will bring the next set of seven-things, followed by the last set of seven-things, and at the end of all that, Rapture will come. So, the Ciphers are making Rapture come.
"According to Tiresias."
But you kinda trust him.
"Sure."
And, I mean, Tiresias is also the one who told us about the Ciphers in the first place. It feels weird to not trust him on this point when we clearly trusted him enough to go after the Ciphers in the first place.
"Sure!"
But, at the same time, it's also weird that he would offer the correction. That kinda paints his word as unreliable?
"Or, it paints him as someone who is willing to admit being wrong."
Well, sure.
"Do you two want a refill?"
Yes, please!
hey donnie
"yeah?"
how are we gonna pay for this?
"pay?"
we. walked into a cafe, a genuine cafe.
"yeah."
and sat down.
"and sat down."
and ordered drinks.
"...it's been a while since we've last needed money, okay, I did kinda forget."
well, we can just. ask. I mean, what kind of people would be running a cafe, uh, two months into the end of the world, where society in general is shifting its priorities, and still expect people to have cash?

5:42 PM
Fucking Americans.
Well, I'm washing dishes tonight. I kinda suspect this is how they operate the cafe in the first place, just give people drinks and then ask them to clean up because they owe it.
...that's not an awful model, actually.
BUT I'M CLEANING UP OTHER PEOPLE'S STUFF TOO

9:10 PM
While I worked my shift, I got to talking with the others, the cooks and the busboys and whatnot. I asked them about those "ants of the sky."
They're robots, or something. Got different answers. Something flying in the sky that provides a blue color?
People around here are a bit too.. placated. Apathetic? Words. Like they've been talked into working jobs so much that they don't really consider there's a world outside anymore. There's just no time to. Is that a thing?
But, if they were talked into it, then surely they can... talk their way out of it?
...talking isn't some alien thing…

9:22 PM
Donnie met me outside and took me on a walk.
She hasn't found any place to stay that doesn't ask for money, but she did find a free car! She wants to drive us out of the city, get some distance done for the day, then pull over somewhere where we can sleep.
She's an angel!

9:46 PM
............Donnie?
"Mhm?"
Why are there police sirens everywhere we go?
"Oh, I don't know."

9:47 PM
..........this car wasn't free, was it?
"I did not pay money for it."
And you're putting some distance between us and the city for other reasons.
"My clever little boyfriend! Such a brain on him."
......just, drive fast, okay?
"I plan on it."

(Attached: "The Beast, the Harlot. The Lamb, the X. The Sea, the Blood. The Sampo, the Mechro. And I, eternity's cutting historian, and you, my always book. All that happens in these pages relates to one of these. All that happens in all Totality relates to one of these. I have it on good authority: I've seen it all happen.”)