FRIDAY
JUNE 10TH, 2011
(Clearly
Exaggerated)
2:37
AM
Blackpool.
2:51
AM
We’ve arrived at the marketplace.
2:52
AM
Mistress is sitting atop her makeshift throne. She’s watching me.
I don’t see Donnie anywhere.
"You're very observant. You can see her after I've seen your journals."
……crap. The Rapture Duck ate my earlier journals.
Mistress is coming down from her throne. She's laughing.
She snaps her fingers, and puppets arrive holding a rather wet and wrinkly looking book.
My journals from Spain.
"Is that what you were talking about?"
Yes, ma’am.
I forgot Mistress can make her puppets do dirty work. And they’re always watching me, watching my every move.
Mistress grabbed the journal and is now flicking through it.
The light here is rather scarce. There’s a couple barrels nearby with fires in them, but other than that and the moon, there’s not really much light. Mistress looks disturbingly real under this light. Even though she’s just a marionette. She looks like she’s almost human. Almost.
"Oh, just look at all this... I'm so pleased! You're such a good pet. 'The White Jester,' I'm impressed, you inspired an epithet! The name suits you."
Th.. thank you.
"God, all these descriptions of violence are making me horny. You sure know how to win a girl's heart."
3:00 AM
She just made out with me. She made sure to do it for longer than last time, and with all the puppets watching. And one more person.
She's pointed out Donnie in the crowd. Donnie’s oh my god Donnie’s thin. What the hell have these guys been dYES MA’AM
Mistress wants to make sure I know who’s watching for this next bit.
…oh god, Mistress, I can’t, no.
"You. Me. Right here, right now. I promise I won't give you splinters."
I really can't. I just got back, I'm gonna want to unwind... I really appreciate the sentiment, I promise, but I mean I've never even done it bef
6:54
AM
Mistress says I’m amazing at that.
Mistress says I
can get more tomorrow night.
Mistress corrected
herself.
Mistress says I will get more tomorrow
night.
Mistress wants me to go to bed now.
Mistress will
let Donnie go with me.
Mistress says one last
thing.
Mistress kissed me on the cheek and said “Welcome home,
White Jester.”
Mistress is gone now.
8:41
AM
It was a slow walk home to what used to be the tropers'
house.
Donnie looked at me for most of the walk. She looked to
be in a lot of pain. And she looked sympathetic. I tried my best to
return the look.
Donnie’s in the bathroom now. She went
straight in upon returning.
My body is in a lot of pain.
In
retrospect, I’m glad I wasn’t allowed to keep writing in my
journal for that.
It’ll be easier to forget.
Donnie’s
crying.
Donnie’s sobbing.
I’m going to go see
what I can do.
I just.. have to. I owe it to her.
9:11
AM
Donnie’s asleep now, next to me.
I talked to her.
I let her cry on my shoulder. I really feel like I owe her.
I
have no idea what they’ve done to her while I was gone. She won’t
tell me. I respect that; I won’t pry. She just told me that she
wished, when she came out of the bathroom, it would all go away.
When
we got into bed, Donnie started hugging me and still hasn’t
stopped. I’ve got my arms free. But I.. god. I need to think of
some way out of here.
I need to get us both out of here.
5:40
PM
Woke up at noon. Can’t remember the
nightmare. It had something to do with last night.. and some event
with my family. My arms were busy hugging Donnie, so I didn’t write
it down. I think that’s for the best. Then I drifted off to sleep
again.
Donnie’s up now, which is why I am.
I didn’t
dream a real dream this time. I just heard Mistress’ clearly
exaggerated sexual moans over and over again.
Does she really
enjoy the sex? Can you even call that sex? How would I even know?
Can
you even call me a good guy anymore?
Can you even call me a
human anymore?
5:49
PM
Donnie and I are going out to look for a meal.
Together.
.w.
5:54
PM
We agreed not to go towards the marketplace.
We’re
just looking nearby.
6:02
PM
Restaurant.
Raiding the kitchen.
7:40
PM
There was food. Lots. We cooked some meals and sat down
at a table for two.
We talked. About happy things. I told Donnie
about some of the fun I had, the new CDs I got, the SLCEMs, Jordan
Versus the Minotaur, and how much I missed her.
Donnie told me
about a new dress the Mistress got her. It’s pretty. And.. blue. I
like blue.
We mostly spoke about our old lives, really. I talked
about what life was like back when I used to live in America, all my
old friends, my old schools, the video games I once played. Donnie
talked about her life in Surrey, the evenings she’d spend with her
mother, the volunteer work she'd do at Halliford, the days she’d
spend out wandering through town for the sake of it…
At one
point, Donnie grabbed my hands and told me how she really didn’t
know if I was gonna make it back or not. She didn’t know if I had
it in me to.. kill people just out of no choice. She didn’t even
know if she could trust me to come save her. As much as we get along,
I haven’t even known her for a month. I told her she was completely
right; I’m practically a stranger to her. I told her I completely
understood why she’d be so afraid and hopeless. These are tough
times. But the important thing is that I’m back.
I mean, that
is the important thing. ..right?
8:01
PM
..I killed those people. I killed a lot of people
in that church.
I did. I’ve done horrible things.
I can’t
imagine how much disgust Donnie must feel.
I’m terrible.
11:01
PM
..Donnie gave me a hug. Randomly.
Maybe she doesn’t
hate me.
But I’m still terrible, I am.
11:11
PM
I wish I could redeem myself.
11:58
PM
Knocking on the door. Checking.
(Attached: "The Harlequin once had a pet cat. She named him Cheese Puff, and he was orange and little. Cheese Puff loved cuddles. The Harlequin would take Cheese Puff to see the seaside, and she'd dream of getting a house on a cliff, waking up every morning to Cheese Puff licking her nose. But this was before he came into her life and made her promise her love. After that, she found Cheese Puff's feet in her backyard, curled up like little.. well, cheese puffs. She never found the rest.")