SATURDAY JULY 30TH, 2011
(KING REAL)

8:00 AM
I tossed and turned throughout the night, waking out of dreams and drifting back to sleep to the sound of cold water drops on brick. Dreamed of the days when all I had to worry about was a hard boss in a video game. Dreamed of many such bosses, I would try each one and would fail, die again and again. Every time I fell back asleep, it was to another dream of another boss.
Egg Emperor. Jealous Bass. Lu Bu. Flaahgra. Magnus Von Grapple 2.0, Grodus. Sephiroth. The Nihilanth.
A bell strikes eight times. The slime blob is unlocking our cells.

8:01 AM
The four of us have met.
Me and Donnie. The two bikers, whose names are Grant and Buck.
Grant's the leader. Buck's the beefy dude.
They're both excited to get started. Donnie and I are playing along, but that's not gonna get us very far. We need a plan.

8:04 AM
The blob led us out of the prison, through damp corridors, and out into the misty morning white. Snow covers the ground as if freshly fallen. A double-lined trail, as if left by a wheelbarrow or carriage, marks the path to follow.
Chilly as fuck. None of us have thick enough coats.

8:05 AM
Buck found a branch on the ground and tried lighting it with a cigarette lighter. It's too wet.
"Fuck it, man. Walking should keep us warm enough, right?"
I don't know enough to question that.

8:38 AM
Donnie and I stuck together for a little more warmth. We hung back a little, but we don't really want to lose the bikers in the mist.
Luckily the trail kept on. It kept straight. It kept on monotonous.
But we've come to our first actual feature: the trail splits into two, one path continuing forward, the other heading to the right.
We don't want to go splitting up, even our buddies here know how foolish that is.
We're going to check out what's to the right.

8:45 AM
Out of the mist emerged a thick black imposing watchtower, roof coming to a sharp point. The area around the tower is wet with melted snow; inside is a warmth.

8:47 AM
Climbed up a spiral staircase, like the inside of a lighthouse, to reach a little lookout point with raging fire.
Everyone is relieved.

8:48 AM
Donnie's pulled some tins of beans out of our bag. Shit, didn't even know we still had those.
"There's enough here for all of us, but it might be wise to ration them. So Jordan and I will share one, and you two will share another. Okay?"
No objections.

8:51 AM
"Huh. What's this."
grant's noticed a parchment hooked to the wall.
"'Good cavaliers.' Hey, I think this is for us."
"Good cavaliers:
Your quest begins in earnest, though how earnest is up to you.
From your keep in the Royal Asylum, you have a long trip ahead of you in order to reach mine stronghold in the great Castle True. From your vantage point in this Northeastern Watchtower, and without needing to leave it, you may spy mine Castle, your ultimate destination, and venture a mental map of the sacred Realm. It will take some doing, however!
Thus it is here that I must pose to you your first Challenge:
Is there life after death?"
"What?"
"'Is there life after death?" buck "What the fuck does that mean?"
grant "It's a distraction. Our real task is to make the map. Has to be. He made it clear that we have all we need, just here in the watchtower."
"But it's blind as a bat out there."
"It's mist. Mist clears up. It'd be smart to stay here for a while anyway, ensure we're warm enough."

8:54 AM
Sure enough, the mist outside is starting to clear.
The first thing that we saw-- hell, it demanded to be seen-- was a raging torrent of lava in a tremendous chasm just past the watchtower. The power of condensed rock at incredible pressures, slow-moving but still moving rock, crawling death. It's far below us, as we must be on a cliff. And it's so large, it's like a sea.
Not long after, the last of the mist had dissipated, and we could see well into the horizon.
On the other side of the sea of lava is a sizable construction, tall dark walls stretching for well over a mile, marked periodically by towers atop the wall, the entire construction extending outward, jutting into the lava sea. That must be Castle True.
There's no way directly to it from here, and we see no entrance on this side either (only walls and watchtowers), but if we go back to the path we had been following, that will take us gradually around the "bay," and presumably to the front of the castle.
But on the way there are many smaller structures we're going to have to get through.
We were told there were eight challenges today; they're going to be some of them.

8:56 AM
But then. This letter asked us a question, and it explicitly framed it as our first challenge.
The bikers think it was a red herring, but I don't know.
"Is there life after death?"
It is an odd thing to ask. Even if circumstances were equal and we were in a position to rightly consider it, it's a bit of a "Yes and no" thing, isn't it?
Like.
Before all this, I understood it to be that we had no evidence either way for anything after death. Inconclusive. It'd be foolish to state "Yes" or "No." Then, knowing what we now know…
Zombies exist.
Is that "life?"
I'm liable to think it's just the body, not the mind, and is it "life after death" to have your body, like... be a possible zombie for the Archangel's will? I lean towards "No" there.
We've seen many worlds on our travels, but none of them have struck me as an afterlife. I still lean towards "No."
There are ways to extend our lives, but that still isn't... after death.
Hrm.
...the others are getting ready to go.

9:14 AM
We're back on the main path.
donnie "Jordan, you okay?"
I'm just. I'm thinking about that question. Life after death.
"Is that what you were writing in your journal earlier? You think it's worth answering?"
I think it is the first challenge. Even just having an answer could help. And all my thoughts run to.. 'no, there is no life after death.' Because I look at the zombies, the surest sign of something after death, and I don't see any life there. I see mindless bodies that are only up and walking because Archie said so.
"So you're leaning towards 'no' because you define 'life' as being the mind."
I think so.
"But do you see that you're inserting an assumption into the question?"
Yeah. That's the pesky part. Do you have any insight?
"Well, I did read a lot of books before all this. I can't say that I personally came to any conclusions, but I am reminded that we have historically long debated over what 'life' actually is. Like, metaphysically."
she's thinking. thinking hard.
"Would you say it is true that our actions have consequences?"
Yes.
"Do those consequences stop after our death?"
Well, we stop experiencing them, but yeah, the consequences carry on for everyone else.
"Do we stop experiencing them? A lifetime of smoking makes a lung decompose differently. Our bones may rot differently depending on what we did in life."
Well, that's getting into the mind/body question.
"Okay. Well, how about this one: Isn't it true that we are a species that believes in character? Even those of us who don't believe in a soul still believe each person has a character. And you know what we do with that? We carry each other's character well past their death, we carry them through ideology and through story."
And.. and in story, our characters still interact with the living, and sometimes our characters even continue to change and grow. Huh.
But is that life?
Is character life?
...is story life?
Legsteps in the distance started a song. A steady hard drum beat. Crunchy bass. Ambient synths.
Was that. A coincidence?
Donnie's smiling at me.
the bikers are eager to have a soundtrack.

10:39 AM
The trail stopped an hour ago as in front of us were thick mounds of snow and no way around.
Our progress slowed down, as every few minutes we alternated between walking uphill and walking downhill.
Looking ahead, there's still so much left to go…
We just have the music to keep us going.

11:04 AM
something just roared nearby.
grant "everyone, huddle up."
do we have weapons on us? donnie's got her frying pan, but I don't have anything now.
buck has brass knuckles.
grant has a big stick he picked up on the way.
...donnie, please protect me
"I will, baby."

11:05 AM
what is that
coming out from behind that mound
it's humanoid, covered in thick hair
is that a yeti???
ROAAAAAAAAARRRRRR
the music's getting sinister
it's.. actually being really pretty about it
oh god no HERE IT COMES

11:06 AM
it threw me into a pile of snow
that fucker is strong
GET IT DONNIE
SWING THAT THING
HIT IT
oh it's grabbed her
throwing her AT ME
..butt in face
y'know I don't mind this
"it is.. comfy…"
with the pretty music…
ROAAAAARRRR
oh. oh yeah. that.
"argghh!!! stay here, jordan. stay safe. HEY, GRANT! LET ME DISTRACT IT!"

11:07 AM
In the end, it was very simple to dispatch. Donnie distracted its attention while the bikers shoved a sharpened stick into the back of its head with all their might.
The music has returned to its less-pretty but more-engaging pulse.
And Donnie and I shared a blushing look, because, well, we probably need to focus on the fights.
At least the bikers didn't notice me hiding in the snow.

11:08 AM
Grant threw me a branch.
"It's better than nothing. We're gonna want you at the top of your game today."
Thanks.
"Now, can everyone still walk? Look at that out there. I can see the ground evens out again, there's even a clear road, but we've still got more unstable ground to traverse before we get there."
Sighhhhhh.
Yep.
Yep, let's go.

12:17 PM
fucking christ.
just lots of trudging. hours of trudging. the temperature wasn't quite as bad as earlier this morning, but I mean, we were trudging through snow, my legs are fucking freezing.
we're out now. we're out of the trudging. we're on solid ground, flat ground.
up ahead is a large wall, too large to climb, that stretches far in one direction (and right to the cliff on the other). but on the path itself, the wall becomes a gate. black steel, shut.
on either side of the path are two more little towers, their roofs reaching into sharp points like the watchtower earlier.
in the sky, a spidercloud is approaching.
we're praying for some hamburgers.

12:23 PM
Alright, here we are at the gate.
Buck tried to push it open, but predictably it won't budge.
grant "The controls are probably in the guardtowers."
yeah.
you look in one, I look in the other?
he nodded.
you rest this time, donnie. there's gonna be stairs.

12:27 PM
shitting. goddamn. flights of stairs.
if I ever meet the bastard. who decided the world needed so many stairs.
I'm going to play guitar hero on his fucking spine.
ah. god. Aaaah!!!
thank fuck there's nobody up here.
I did not want to try fighting with a fucking stick. when my legs are a pile of mush.
there's. there's not actually much up here at all, really.
parchment hooked to the wall.
"The mighty gate of Giant's Terminus once stood patrolled at all hours of every day. Once, it stayed open, welcoming all guests into my kingdom who were ready to contribute to a society under a loving sun. However, every kingdom needs protection, and mine had commandeered this gate from an older time when giants walked the land. When the giants faded from memory, and the civilization that had maintained this gate were incorporated into mine walls, we had no need for its security anymore. Alas, until the day came when something far worse found our land.
If, good cavaliers, thou shouldst wish to proceed, thou will find the necessary machinery stationed within these towers. And herein lies thy second challenge:
When should the hateful man leave his home?"

12:32 PM
The bikers have found the machinery, a convoluted system of cogs and rope and containers of water, and are approaching it as they would an engine.
Meanwhile, Donnie and I are sitting in front of the gate, thinking on the question.
"I would imagine the hateful man can leave whenever he wants. But the question is should."
Well. Should he leave as soon as possible? For the good of his home?
"And bring his hate out into the greater world? Maybe it would be moral for him to stay at home."
Is it more or less moral to stay at home? The question doesn't really specify.
"The last one didn't either. These are like.. lateral thinking. Or poetry."
Like the one about the short man and the elevator to his apartment, how he needs a damn umbrella to hit the button?
"The what?"
Forget it. Just, argh. Why is this Cipher so interested in riddles?
"Because it's the last one. Now c'mon. Hateful man, when should he leave his home."
Argh!!!
Well!
I suppose you were onto something with the point about the greater world. If we're speaking in shoulds, any man should stay at home until he's faced his individual demons and has prepared to participate in society. And then, likewise, any man who is truly ready should face the greater society with a fresh face, every day a puzzle. Like these damned riddles.
…
did that do anything? did we do it?
"No. There must be some extra aspect to this we're not addressing."
Goddammit.
"Why should a non-hateful man leave his home? Why is leaving your home the focus of this challenge?"
Because. Leaving your home is, y'know, facing society, engaging with people who do not know you and whom you do not know. They're the people you're going to hate. You are allowed to feel hate, but then it's smartest to not expose yourself to the subjects of your hate.
"What if you hate yourself? Shouldn't you avoid your home, then, since that's where you live?"
No, that's a cute thought, but c'mon, you're always with yourself, even when you're not in your home. Self-hate is dangerous wherever you are, and likewise it's the one we should watch out for most.
"So. So it's about harm reduction. If you are infected with hate for a subject, you should isolate yourself from that subject. And then, if you aren't filled with hate, you should go participate in society because... society needs all the help it can get??? When so many of its participants are stuck at home, going through their hate???"
.....a voice in the sky just said "good enough" and now the Legsteps are playing a more elaborate tune.
doot doo doo doot doot doo doo womp

12:37 PM
They got the gate open!
"It was a fulcrum puzzle."
"An annoying one."
"Annoying as shit."

12:40 PM
After another short break, we're back to walking.
The snow isn't a hindrance around here, as it's mostly drying up, revealing a dark grey soot-like ground, and the terrain is a fairly straight walk from here to our next landmark.
They look like a bunch of buildings. Looks like a town.
And then, over on our right, the land takes over from the sea of lava, forming the bay. Over in that direction would be, eventually, the castle. But we're gonna stick with our guts here. Visible town should give us our next challenges, and we supposedly need to do those before we can fight the writer of the parchments.

12:58 PM
HAMBURGER FROM THE SKY

1:13 PM
Closer to the town, it's... ruins.
The buildings are demolished, half-standing, charred.

1:27 PM
Inside the town now.
Mounds of what we first thought was rubble actually is piles of corpses.
The last message mentioned this land was wrought by "something far worse" than giants. Was it a plague of some kind?

1:36 PM
Up there, in what might have been a town square.
Woodrotten gallows.
Burnt bodies on stakes.
Donnie suggests we watch out for any remnant posters, or writing on the walls. Might clarify what happened to this place.

2:05 PM
In the center of the old town is a stone bridge crossing a slow-moving river. There are fewer buildings on the other side. Maybe it's where the lower-class lived. Or the farmers. Or, actually, the upper-class? God, how does history work.

2:09 PM
Does anyone else hear that sound?
"Yeah, it's like.. ripping."
"Like something moving that hasn't moved in a long time."
"....shit."
black charred bodies climbing out of piles of bodies, but still encrusted to the piles after years, decades, how long.
some of them are single charred bodies.
a lot of what we're seeing are two little legs carrying an entire encrusted pile above its head. limbs dangling as they're carried up above, kicking and wriggling, arms reaching out.
"sweet jesus."
there are lots. old dessicated bodies suck together, molded by the years and the forces.
they don't moan. they don't call for us. they just walk towards us.
"do we... fight these?"
"I'm not gonna let them touch me, that's for sure."

2:11 PM
donnie found a rusted sword knocked loose by a Walking Pile. she gave it to me.
yeah, fuck the stick. let's try a sword.

2:12 PM
Slicing bodies!
An arm, a leg, an elbow.
Cutting some in half.
All that comes out is dust and crumbs.
And still they reach for me.

2:13 PM
I cut some of the Piles, and all it does is set more of the bodies free, creating more threats.
Gotta be careful not to get surrounded.
Donnie's frying pan works well enough at flattening their hollow heads, which neutralizes them.
The bikers use whatever's on hand, usually their own brute strength, to pound them into dust.

2:15 PM
the bikers keep complaining about how much they hate these things. "ugly fucks," "balls of flesh," "abominations." "see you in hell, freak."
I can't deny the repulsion I feel while slicing bodies free of the piles and chopping off their arms, but.
I doubt they want to exist like this.
something awful happened here. something horrifying. and this is what happened to the people who went through that.
we're killing them as a mercy.
I hope.

2:23 PM
We've fought our way into a clearing between buildings, the town limits aren't in sight yet, and we're still being pursued by an increasing mass of cadavers.
My body's feeling the strain. This is a long day…
We need another idea.

2:24 PM
Hang on. This trail on the ground. We were following one earlier today too, and here's another one. Looks like it was caused by wheels of some kind. But what actually was it? It must have been recent enough for the tracks to still show.
grant "You're thinking we can find it and ride it out of here?"
If it's not just some wheelbarrow or something, yeah. I am. Some of the buildings around here have walls enough to potentially hide something. If I can find us transportation, that would be a huge help.
"Then get to it, already. We can't fight these fucks all day."
On it!

2:25 PM
Obviously the thing I need to do is follow the trail. It goes in two directions, one way will probably lead nowhere, but the other...?

2:27 PM
Here.
A building that's almost still standing. It still has three walls, for the most part, enough to obscure its interior from us as we passed by. The trail leads here.
If I were a betting man, I'd wager this was like a garage of some sort.
And, placed in here amidst all the rubble, must be something worth hiding.

2:28 PM
What in the hell is this thing?
It has four wheels, but they're all different kinds, and the material for the body is scrapwork too.
Would that body hold us all?
...uh.
I may have made a mistake coming into this enclosed space alone.
The Piles have followed me in, and there's enough of them to block the exit.

2:29 PM
THRUST
THRUST
SLICE
STAB
GET AWAY
GO ON, GET
I HAVE PLACES TO BE

2:33 PM
"What the fuck is that?"
the bikers are thrilled, if baffled, by this thing I'm wheeling along.
Can we get this thing working? And can it hold all of us?

2:35 PM
Donnie and I have been covering them from the Walking Piles as they take a look at the machine.
According to their expertise, it is a patchwork of other machines-- including their own bikes. An Automobile of Theseus.
And that means it should work on familiar mechanical principles.
They got the hood open, and inside, right next to the very engines that had powered their motorbikes, was another piece of parchment.
"Good cavaliers,
The township of Alphstead did not deserve its fate. No one in my kingdom did, but this decision was not mine to make. It came one morning, heralded by a dreadful red sky. Like a failure of the heart predicted by nothing more than frail nerves and cool skin, we did not know how prepared to be, and we had little time to do such preparations. We elected to close Giant's Terminus and amass the guards.
It came, all the same. Unheeding of our gate, it came from our own houses, our own passages, our own doorways. It was not a war. It was not an invasion. It was a plague designed to take us all, take me, and even take our God.
You must keep going. You are not yet at my Castle. Do you know the way?
If a man has his doubts, should he tell the others?"

2:39 PM
We have no time to work on that riddle right now. We've got to defend Grant and Buck while they get the machine working.
donnie, quietly "Don't you think it's referring to us?"
What? What do you mean?
"'If a man has his doubts,' and we're here with an opposing goal to our companions."
Well. That's secrets, that's not doubts, is it?
"We have doubts that 'deciphering' this place will lead to anything good."
ugh. Okay, yeah. Sure. It can apply to us. So, should we tell?
"That's the riddle."
Fine, I'll work it out. SLICE STAB
Obviously, the benefits to not telling are, they think we're on their side, they will not be hostile to us. SWISH SLASH
And then the benefits to telling are. We no longer have to lie. It's less of a load on our minds. And we're not gonna surprise them at the last minute.
"..yeah, I still don't want to tell."
Like, for the riddle in abstract, yeah, a man with doubts should tell the others, it doesn't necessarily have to be immediate, just, at the first possible time most convenient for the others? Expediently?
"Waiting to share one's doubts raises questions about trustworthiness." KICK, CRUSH
What if the riddle's not even referring to us? What if they're the ones with doubts they're not telling us?
"That's wishful thinking."
It's entirely possible, and it's tempering our guilty assumptions.
"..we haven't hit the answer yet, have we?"
I feel like the Legsteps would play new music if we did.
"Argh! I'm trying to fight, this isn't a good time to be reasoning through Socratic dialogues!"
If a man has his doubts. Should he tell the others.
.......yes?

2:41 PM
They got the machine working. We're all on, we're riding out of town.
The Legsteps are still playing the same tune they'd been playing.
Maybe the reward this time was just... a working machine?

3:05 PM
Outside the town. Stopped for a brief engine check.
I can't write so much on the machine, as we all have to ride it standing, holding onto handles.
Grant says he's sure we've got a long ride ahead of us. We can't even see the castle on the horizon from here, though I feel like we can't be that far from it?
There's no trail out here. It's all flat, hard grey sand. Gravel. Whatever.
Buck calls this "badlands."
We're just going to take an educated guess as to a direction to head, trying for north-west, and ride until we see landmarks.

3:44 PM
Another stop to get our bearings.
There's some irregularity on the horizon, looks bumpy. I think Grant wants to ride us out that way, check it out.
We're actually having a lot of difficulty gauging our speed out here, we don't know how much land we're covering, because it's all flat and barren, there's nothing to compare us to. We're going fast, definitely. Maybe not too fast.

4:20 PM
The bumpiness is steeper than anticipated.
They're big rock formations, a maze of canyons. We'll have to go slower through here. Find our way through.
I can't hear the Legsteps anymore. We are very far from them.

5:55 PM
oh my fucking god we're lost

7:32 PM
We had to stop to eat and rest.
Eating the last of our beans.
We'll sit for a while, but we can't sleep, we can't, we've got to get out of here, we've got to see the end of these winding rock walls. Got to find that castle... got to get that Cipher...

9:18 PM
We found a trail. We found a damn trail. Hoofprints.

9:50 PM
we're out!! we're out!!
oh happy days, we can see the horizon!
and if we keep following these hoofprints, we think they'll take us where we need to go!
god I'm really feeling the exhaustion!!
these damn Ciphers! this damn Rapture!
..Donnie kissed my cheek. she's tired too. we'll get through this. do it for her.

10:38 PM
The!!! The!!! The castle!!! It's there, on the horizon!!! It's there!!!
Oh my fucking god!!!
It's fucking large!!!
I hadn't seen any of the castles on Earth, but this has to be bigger than any of them!
It's not incredibly tall, instead it takes up a lot of space, very wide from both views. There is a respectable, like, spire at the far back, though. That's probably where the king lives. Do kings live in the castles? How do castles work?
Who cares!!! We're nearly there!!!

10:59 PM
We've pulled up.
Before we can enter the castle, we're going to need that drawbridge down. Between us and it is a gap, a cliff, a long drop into that familiar lava sea.
Luckily, we might have enough to work with over here. We're flanked by two dark-spire guard towers again. Which means there's probably another puzzle, and another challenge.

11:02 PM
The tower I picked has an elaborate series of pulleys and buckets full of different material.
This is the puzzle.
Right.
I'll go.. tell the others. I want the other tower.

11:05 PM
"Good cavaliers,
You stand before the threshold of Castle True. This had been the seat of mine power for thousands of years before the plague hit us, and I have not kept track of how many thousands of years passed since then. Protected by the horrors thanks to our Smoldering Sea, my people have had to adapt to a more insular lifestyle. It may give you pause to witness, but pray, judge them not.
You are here to kill. They will know that."
Huh. No challenge this time? No great riddle?

11:17 PM
The bikers are working slower this time. They're fatigued.
I don't.. know if we're ready for what comes next.
Whatever comes next.

11:29 PM
a deep Click.
mechanical grinding.
the drawbridge is lowering.
we're all gathering to enter.

11:30 PM
It's down.
Standing in the center of the castle entrance is a large horse.
Mounted on that horse is a busy and sharp assortment of bloodstained pieces of armor, worn by a strong man with horns on his head. He is staring us down. He's lifted a big halberd over his shoulder.
Uh.
looking at my crummy rusted sword.
looking back at halberd horseman.

11:31 PM
FUCK
dive
roll
oh god he charged at us
is everyone okay
he's already turned around, he's on A FAST HORSE
coming for another swing
DIVE
STEP
AAAAA
GUYS WHAT ARE WE GONNA FUCKING DO
WE'RE NOT TRAINED FOR THIS
WE'RE NOT EQUIPPED
duck
flat on the ground
let him charge past
gallop gallop
trot trot
gallop gallop
gallop gallop
tears in my eyes from fatigue
he's looking at the bikers now
gives me a chance to catch my breath at least
find donnie

11:32 PM
he
he just
Grant got a running start and jumped for the horse
and halberd horseman, in one swift and heavy motion, kicked him off and then
swung his halberd
taking Grant's head off
as his headless body lost all will and collapsed.
fuck.
FUCK!
screams
donnie's running to me
buck's staring at his dead friend, savagery in his face
halberd horseman's turning around for another charge
donnie, c'mon. onto the drawbridge.
halberd harry's coming
gallop
gallop
swing
CRACK
buck grabbed the fucking halberd
snapped its head off
horseman's still riding this way, looking at buck
donnie, with me,
scare that fucking horse!
BANG BANG SWIPE SWIPE SCREAAAM
NEEEEIIIIIGHHHH

11:33 PM
horse and rider tumbled down the cliff, landing in the lava with a hideous ripple.
my heart's beating mad. I feel like I just beat lu bu.
donnie kissed me for a long time.
we did it.
aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
I am Jordan!!! hear me and fear!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa…
we did all that just to enter the castle.
ah.

(Attached: "The Seven Ciphers…
I'm sure they were designed to taunt me. Assigned to seal my book, they promise meaning and have none. The hindrances preventing us from opening a book are visceral and not deep.
Yes, I'm sure that's it.”)